It was not changing my thinking that helped me it was changing the company I kept and the lifestyle I lead
When I was younger I spent a lot of time around people that I thought could help me get 'my head right'. How wrong I was about that LOL
Most of the folk I new then were proper messed up themselves, and when they were saying things like 'don't worry, be happy' or 'Think positive' or ' Speak only of nice things' actually was a way for them to faff me off whilst they came moaning to me about their stuff and to get me to sort their stuff too LOL
As you know I had an illness at that time, but other folk told me that I did not and that I was imagining it, or exagerating, sympathy seeking, the lot. I spent many a long time trying to get people that should understand to understnad but they would not.
When I was trapped in this mess I became very poorly, first and foremonst with the IBS, sacroiliac problem, flare problem and so on, but with the neglect I also became poorly with my mind, very confused about whether or not my illness was real, constantly obsessing how I could get others to understand, and I became very depressed with the helplessness
In the end I developed a lot of addiction problems, bread, pasta cake, diet coke, chocolate, cigarettes and so on. All this stuff on top of my very parculiar flare thing and IBS thing made me feel like I was a crazy person
Anyway, to cut a long story short to get to a better place with all this Ihad to get away from all the people that were bullying me. It was hard because I actually loved many of the people that thought I was a fool. But me staying around people that could not or would not help me, was creating coals for my back. I had to put my health and my emotional welbeing above all the crazy comments I got from other folk
I had to start looking after me as if I was the only person in the world LOL
I know this sounds incredibly selfish and it was, but the truth is this, if I had not made the decision to put myself and my health above everybody else I would not be here now, and I am absolutely certain of that
I had to create resources all around me that would cushion me in every circumstance, getting me well became my only objective. It became a mission and anything that got in my way, including people I loved dearly, had to go
Now do not get me wrong I did not turn all aggressive and nasty towards the folk that were telling me my illness was in my head but their problems were real, I just kindly slipped away
I told folk that I was never home so it would be a waste of time calling around and later I told them I had no phone and other stuff. I got away from all the people that were making my life hell with the 'psychological advice' and instead I started listening to my own advice
My own advice was that no matter what was wrong with me, no matter how serious this complaint was I could improve my lot by eating sensibly (which I had worked out meant no porcessed foods and low carb), adding useful vitamins and mineral, and doing very very gentle excercise that I enjoyed like gardening walking in the park etc
I started to read the stuff of folk I new had good ideas, like Weston Price, Paul MCKenna, joyce Meyers etc, and I started putting their DVds and CDs on in my house, car etc, so that all the time I was listening to supportive comments, not glib one liners that had clearly been meant to put me down, like so many of my friends and family had been using in the past
I simply would not listen to people that were insinuating I was weak and feeble minded, instead I searched for situations that made me feel good about myself
these situations often had a lot to do with music and nature and art and comedy. So I focused on these four areas and built more nad more of this stuff into my life
I developed a job where I would be incharge and all day long I would do only things I enjoy. I joined groups where the folk thier fitted into my ideas of how a good life should be lead
Along the way, I made many mistakes, invited fools into my circle and got involved with things that lead to similar stuff I had left, like ' folk that love to argue, bend my mind and so on ' but my skilss got better and better and I learned more and more how to get away from folk that were not good for me and that would not help me to get well
I used nutriton to help me overcome my addictions, all of which I have now concurred. I used fun excercise to help me get my body stronger, and now although I am not as strong as the average person I am significantly stronger than I was. i brought home lots and lots of great books, DVDs CDs etc and buit up a collecting I can listen to any time and I also gather tonnes of fun activities I can do when ever I want. I kind of became a loving parent to myself, making sure the very poorly side of mr physically, mentally and emotionally got the best of what it needed to get well
I have to go now but remember no matter what your illness tells you or even what other people tell you you are a valuble person that desrves to be loved in a special way by you
Love Joanne
