Loz, well said and, Chelle, you too. Actually, it's been very interesting coming back into this thread after a day or so away. The discussion that has been occurring here is, I believe, necessary.
Things have changed here of late. In fact, there have been alot of changes during the last six months. Change is never easy at the best of times, but most especially when it comes to a place that we have all, in our own ways, come to think of as 'home'. So, KA is going through growing pains. And grown we have, by leaps and bounds during the last year or two.
The desire is to keep KA the safe haven that it has always been and I don't doubt that we all agree with that desire. Perhaps, we are being too vigilant. We aren't always all in great moods. Our pain levels go up and down, sometimes seemingly arbitrarily. We live, at times, in fear for the future, for the present, and in anger at our circumstances. Sometimes, we just don't feel like editing ourselves. Sometimes, we just don't feel like the wonderful people we all truly are.
This is a support group and while emphasis needs to be on 'support', we must not forget that we are a group of people who are highly individual. In our desire to provide support and compassion, we also must not forget that we cannot ask people to conform to 'our' image of those ideals. Support comes in many guises, as does compassion. However, neither of these ideals demands constant agreement with one another, neither demands sugar coating the truth (or the individual's side of the truth) and neither should come with conditions.
Political Correctness has its place, but I have come to believe that we have (as a society) politically corrected ourselves into being honesty-challenged. The fact is that we all have different outlooks that we express in highly individual ways. And I, for one, am grateful that is the case. Otherwise we run the risk of becoming saccharine and insincere. Can we not just accept our differences, cherish them, celebrate them, instead of expecting everyone to friendly and sweet all the time? Because the other fact is that nobody is friendly and sweet all the time. Even the most closely knit of families has fights that spill over into everyday life.
There is room here, plenty of it for Kaz's delightful outspokenness, Bill's ironic sense of humour, the odd NSD feud, the odd disagreement about exercise, Holly's fairy dust, my hugs, Mig's common sense and every other individual trait we each embody. If sometimes we don't like what or how someone says something, we need to remember that there are plenty of other times when we appreciate that very same person.
And we, all of us, need to remember that if someone feels the need to change something integral to his or herself so that what is being said won't be slammed or misunderstood, then this is not a true support group anymore. We have always been careful here with regard to politics (except Mig and me
) and religion. Considering how closely held opinions on these two topics are, this is probably wise. Censoring for swearing, well I think we can all live with that. Censoring one another for speaking differing or distasteful views crosses the line - no matter who does the censoring. At least to my mind.
And, Kaz, I add my name to those who are very glad you are sticking around.
Many hugs, to all of you.
