Kickas.org Forums Ankylosing Spondylitis General Discussion #1 AS Web Support Group More incidences in London

Loz, well said and, Chelle, you too. Actually, it's been very interesting coming back into this thread after a day or so away. The discussion that has been occurring here is, I believe, necessary.

Things have changed here of late. In fact, there have been alot of changes during the last six months. Change is never easy at the best of times, but most especially when it comes to a place that we have all, in our own ways, come to think of as 'home'. So, KA is going through growing pains. And grown we have, by leaps and bounds during the last year or two.

The desire is to keep KA the safe haven that it has always been and I don't doubt that we all agree with that desire. Perhaps, we are being too vigilant. We aren't always all in great moods. Our pain levels go up and down, sometimes seemingly arbitrarily. We live, at times, in fear for the future, for the present, and in anger at our circumstances. Sometimes, we just don't feel like editing ourselves. Sometimes, we just don't feel like the wonderful people we all truly are.

This is a support group and while emphasis needs to be on 'support', we must not forget that we are a group of people who are highly individual. In our desire to provide support and compassion, we also must not forget that we cannot ask people to conform to 'our' image of those ideals. Support comes in many guises, as does compassion. However, neither of these ideals demands constant agreement with one another, neither demands sugar coating the truth (or the individual's side of the truth) and neither should come with conditions.

Political Correctness has its place, but I have come to believe that we have (as a society) politically corrected ourselves into being honesty-challenged. The fact is that we all have different outlooks that we express in highly individual ways. And I, for one, am grateful that is the case. Otherwise we run the risk of becoming saccharine and insincere. Can we not just accept our differences, cherish them, celebrate them, instead of expecting everyone to friendly and sweet all the time? Because the other fact is that nobody is friendly and sweet all the time. Even the most closely knit of families has fights that spill over into everyday life.

There is room here, plenty of it for Kaz's delightful outspokenness, Bill's ironic sense of humour, the odd NSD feud, the odd disagreement about exercise, Holly's fairy dust, my hugs, Mig's common sense and every other individual trait we each embody. If sometimes we don't like what or how someone says something, we need to remember that there are plenty of other times when we appreciate that very same person.

And we, all of us, need to remember that if someone feels the need to change something integral to his or herself so that what is being said won't be slammed or misunderstood, then this is not a true support group anymore. We have always been careful here with regard to politics (except Mig and me ) and religion. Considering how closely held opinions on these two topics are, this is probably wise. Censoring for swearing, well I think we can all live with that. Censoring one another for speaking differing or distasteful views crosses the line - no matter who does the censoring. At least to my mind.

And, Kaz, I add my name to those who are very glad you are sticking around.

Many hugs, to all of you.

Okay....I think I need to say it....I think you need to hear it....I know some may groan, some may smile, but its coming up from my gut, and has to be expressed....

You...All....ROCK....

Ahhhh, that felt good to say, in my 'enlightend self interest' kinda way...

I've been reading this post, and thinking, man, this sounds like it could be my family's debate over dinner...and then I thought....this IS my family...my KA family that I joined years ago....and I smile...why?

Because we ASkickers can really dish it out, I know I can, especially when I've been in a flare!! Maybe AS gives us more guts to say what's on our minds, and we all have different beliefs, and we all come here to KA in different moods, looking for help, advice, and someone to lean on....we all need...someone...to lean on...

And I know from experience that typing something in an email or IM can be interpreted differently than if you were speaking to that person face to face, and I can often type away when I'm happy and really really angry...and if I was sitting with that person I emailed it could be a different conversation.

I do think that the main forum is where we need to be inclusive, as we are and have always been a site that welcomes ASkickers from all over the world. That means welcoming people who are from backgrounds that I may not comprehend or agree with, but this much is true, we have AS, and that is what we are here to help with....any subject should be fair game in the main forum, as when a tragedy or a birth occurs, but keep in mind that in the main forum, people are reading and getting first impressions, and if they are turned off they will leave and perhaps lose out on some vital AS information that they desperately needed.

I am really glad that snotbox is staying, and that this discussion happened. We all may not agree on some subjects, but we can agree to offer any advice we can about AS to another person in pain.

There's a preacher here who says "I love this place!" and I echo his words...

Peace, ROCK on it everyone-
Linc

Linc I couldn't agree with you more. A little heated disagreement can't hurt.

I also agree with Loz who I have enormous respect for in that respectful disagreemet is fine. The problem is, of course, that the line between respectful disgreement and offending argument is completely subjective. As for me I have no problem with someone telling me that I am a dolt and that my opinions are inane and I should purchase a clue or two. I would probably be offended but only for about a nano second and then be curious as to why and if I might be so wrong or why someone would think it, even if it meant they were foolish by my standard of thinking.

THe thing is with AS when you're body has stolen from you many of the things you can DO, it seems more important than for other folks that no one minimalize the iport of what you SAY. So if one were to err in being too liberal in allowing someon to vent it doesn't seem like a bad idea.

I don't mean this for the admin's as much as I do for us allowing each other to say things without getting clobbered.

All of this political issue stuff and world issue thingees are after all tomfoolery here since what we post won't change the unvierse a lick yet the good word we give a fallen ASKicker or the information we may give to smeone shall shape a life of someone in pain. I'll forget this thread in a couple of weeks. Two and three decades from today my girls will still have for posterity photos of the love that came to them from around the world in the form of diapers that stacked so high the pile stood taller than me. SO what's important at KickAS a political spat or a soon to be soiled diaper. THe answer is easy and rather sublime.

Ok Linc,

I am so glad you said it!

I don't know, though how I would feel if I was called a soppy sausage...lol

I bout fell out of my chair laughing when I heard Snot call Loz & Strut that...lol

I think I am going to use that on my husband...lol

Lisa

Quote:

---

it's always some 'unfortunate' error when the pigs shoot
some innocent fool...

---

I have a problem with this statement. It's easy to come down on the police when they do something that appears to be a mistake. I'm not saying that police are above making mistakes. What I am saying is that some of the time what appears to be a mistake isn't. It's just that the public doesn't know all of the details.

I've seen this happenn. A couple of years ago an officer shot and killed a man. The officer shot him while he was sitting in his car. There was a lot of up-roar over the incident. However, what really happened was that when the man was asked to do something, several times, he instead put the car in gear and started driving towards another officer. The papers were full of what a great guy the "victim" was etc. The police's hands were tied, and they were unable to say what this guy was really like, and what kind of a record he had. They also couldn't disclose what was really going on, and why they were there in the first place.

So, the next time you hear about an officer shooting someone, and it appeares to be in error, take the time to at least wonder if you know all of the details before making that judgment call.

Maybe you don't like the police for some reason, and maybe your justified, but what would this place be without them? Do they do more good than not?

You obviously weren't a Lenny Bruce fan.

AMEN!!

hugs,
teddi

Hey Big C-
You make a great point, and I thought I replied earlier but looks like I didn't....when we are robbed of Doing, then Saying takes on more weight...I know that for myself if I could not participate in physical activities while in a flare, then I'd want to put my two cents in on ANY discussion going on, so that if people thought of me as physically impaired, they knew my brain was working, big time...

So we Kickers may feel the need to voice our opinions, even more so than the norm...

Peace, you rock as usual...
Linc

Wow, this is quite a thread.

Am glad to see it has turned out the way it has, what with snotbox staying and Bilko affirming his right to his very British SOH.

Given the unspoken aspects of the bombings, the thread could have ended up being very controversial indeed (or am I just amazed at everyone's self-restraint?!)

Linc summed things up perfectly with the dinner table analogy - the thread and the interaction is really no different to that. We should all be happy that it can happen, and it is an honest reflection of life in general.

Asides the way that things can affect our physical tolerance, is it not also true that because of our individual and collective experiences with pain and debility that we truly KNOW what is important in this life, so seeing such futile death and destruction is maybe more painful for us to witness?

IMHO

J