One thing I read here in this thread is a feeling of guilt for feeling your pain and thinking that it isn't as bad as others.

My thoughts on that are that your pain is just as real and just as severe for you as mine is for me. Whatever we are dealing with is tough at that time. If we have a bad toothache, that is tough. If we have a sprained ankle, that is bad. If we have a broken bone, etc. etc.

I never mean to discount anyone's pain. I think that we deal with whatever we have to and if it were worse, we would deal with that.

I am sorry you all hurt and who is to say that my pain is worse than yours? Maybe I am wimpy.

I had a dr. once ask me if it helped to look around and see people who were worse off than I am and I told him "No, because this is me and my life and if that were me and my life, I would deal with that." I don't think it helps anyone or anything to think that "At least I don't have ????." I am thankful I don't but if I did or ever do then I will buck up and deal with that at that time.

Your world has been turned upside down. You have to let yourself grieve your losses and then you will be able to move on with the "new" life.
You have many losses and it IS a big deal. I am sorry this happened to you. I know you are young. I fought these diseases for a long time and kept going until I was at work on a Friday and in the Hospital on Monday never to work again and 9 months before I was able to clean out my office. If I had listened to my drs. and took disability earlier, I might now have been as sick as I am today but then again I might be. Who knows? I took disability at 43 and had a terrible time holding on those past few years. I only did with the grace of a wonderful employer.

Sitting for any length of time just can't be. That is why I am not online much. Standing long enough to fix a meal just kills me. I just am up and down changing positions all day and all night. I understand everything you have said.

Come here any time or feel free to PM me or Email if you want.

I wish you the very best and hope you feel good enough to enjoy the holidays with your family.

Blessings.
Possi

[Linked Image]

Possi
*********************************************************

RUN WHEN YOU CAN,
WALK IF YOU HAVE TO,
CRAWL IF YOU MUST,
JUST NEVER EVER GIVE UP!



"A FRIEND HEARS THE SONG IN YOUR HEART AND SINGS IT TO YOU WHEN YOU CAN'T REMEMBER THE WORDS."

"A FRIEND LOOKS THROUGH YOUR BROKEN FENCE TO ADMIRE YOUR FLOWERS."