Geez ....

Recently my new doc decided that I would start taking my weekly methotrexate subcutaneously, instead of orally ... which of course means self-administering a needle.

Are you OK with that? he asks. Of course I am. Needles dont make me queasy. I volunteered to be the demo person last year when my class was learning 'sharps'. I learned how to draw blood while my boss (previous job) gave me instructions as I drew the blood from him. No, no. This won't be a problem at all.

So there I am last week, learning how to give myself a needle with his nurse. She tells me that I'll likely need to psyche myself to do it. Count it out for yourself she says ... One, two, three, and let three be your mark. No matter what happens, stick the needle in your leg on three. Easy peasy! Sitting in the office, all full of nurse prompting, I count to three and stick my leg. Done and done.

So tonight, the time has come to give myself the injection, all by myself. Not even the least bit nervous. Draw up 1 ml. Clean the site. Laughing to myself I count out loud ... one, two, three .... *nothing*.

Wait a second? --- I was supposed to stick that needle in my leg. OK, never mind, first time nerves. Here we go. One ... two ... three ----------- gosh! the needle touches the skin and stops right there.

(OK, OK Strutinsky ... pull it together.)

*Deep breath*

One ... two ... three -- OH! the needle's in! ................ and it's out again. Argh!

(Too excited? why the heck would I yank it out?)

OK. That's it. *determined brow crinkles up* Too angry to miss this time.

Onetwothree! And, Success!!!!!!!! (Shaking hands finish the job.)

Good grief! I have new found respect for sc MTX users, Enbrel folks, diabetics and anyone else who has to inject themselves. It doesnt hurt, and I'm not just saying that. I honestly couldnt tell you what it was that made it difficult. I didnt think that sticking a needle in my own leg bothered me, until I had to do it.

Funny, given my future profession, but then the whole issue of doctor-patients (or thankfully, still just medical student - patients) has the makings of a martini post, if Steve feels up to lending me the stage one Friday evening.

Jeanna



Make hay while the sun shines