You all don't know how long I have agonized about posting this. And how many times I would write it all up, then just erase it. But I do need to be honest to you all. Because maybe one of you will be able to help me out of this mess I'm in. I guess I'm ready to give up. I thought I had a doc who would help me. He said he would, then he had second thoughts. I talked to him today, and he needed more information. He calls up the state university hospital and asks their opinion. Real smart docs, they know what is going on, and they never even met the patient. THey told him that the percocet was too much to prescribe, and AS pain didn't warrant that kind of approach. ANd besides I could get addicted to meds like Percocet, and
it is better to wallow in agony than it is to have any quality of life. (I added that last part.) He gave me Darvocet instead. I picked them up at the pharmacy, and I'll dutifully take them. But I don't want to swallow pills for the fun of it, I just want some pain relief. I want to be able to play games with my kids, clean my house, bake pies, do some sewing, and whoop it up with my hubby once in a while. And today I found out that I'm asking for too much. My sister told me that if she ever got in the shape I was in, she would just bypass the whole medical circus, and use MJ. She certainly has a point. But I'm not ready to try anything illegal, how bad should I let things go before I do? I guess I have not suffered long enough. The doc says, oh, you are crying a lot? ANd I said yeah, I'm in a lot of pain. He says maybe you are depressed. ANd if we treat the depression, maybe that is what is causing the pain. OH, REALLY?? I took the Darvocet 1 1/2 hrs ago, it has done nothing, absolutely nothing for me. The fire in my back will not go out. Where do I go to from here???
Hugs,
Cindy
