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#506228 09/03/14 01:07 AM
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Does anyone with hand/wrist pain just refuse to shake hands? My hands are frequently crushed by people with firm handshakes. It's just so awkward to not shake hands though when someone holds out their hand...what do you all do in these situations? I'm thinking of just politely saying "oh I don't shake hands because my hands are sensitive."


Last edited by Smiletoday; 09/03/14 01:27 AM.

Everything is okay. Trust yourself, and do not live from a place of fear.
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I cannot imagine that anyone would take offence to that. Just do it! (as they say)

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I think that would be ok...I just kind of muddle thru and end up with hurting hands


Speak kindly, Live simply, Care deeply, Love generously, and BLAH, HA, HA, LOUDLY! every chance you get.

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I also think that would be ok, but I understand about feeling awkward. I'm lucky that methotrexate helps my hands alot, but I certainly don't initiate hand shakes. When my wrists/hands are really sore I wear a support strap thing and that does seem to reduce the number of people who attempt to shake hands!


AS, IBS, reflux oesophagitis and dysphagia, PCOS/insulin resistance, asthma...
Currently managing my AS with humira, methotrexate, low starch diet and exercises. Also taking omeprazole, metformin etc.
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Yes, I've starting saying I can't shake hands, but I don't use the word "sensitive" I just say straight up, "sorry I can't shake hands as my fingers are too sore."

cemc #506245 09/03/14 05:25 PM
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Originally Posted By: cemc
Yes, I've starting saying I can't shake hands, but I don't use the word "sensitive" I just say straight up, "sorry I can't shake hands as my fingers are too sore."


This sounds like good advice.

Tim


AS may win some battles, but I will win the war.

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There is nothing wrong with that at all! OR you could do what our President does and fist bump. laugh




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It can be an extremely difficult situation and each individual situation would have to be evaluated on its own. I would be asking myself....

How important is it to shake this persons hand???

Have I met them before???

You could try using some sort of props to make your hands look full or just get in first and stay away from the handshake all together.

It can be a delicate situation

All the best

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Thanks, all. I think it's just too awkward for me to say I can't shake, so I'm going to just "fist bump" people like Possi said. When they extend their hand I will extend a closed fist. No one fist bumps hard. Sadly, hugs are dangerous too....this woman embraced me to hard today and pulled me in for what seemed like eternity....now I'm icing my back....at 4am cuz I can't sleep due to the pain. I was actually even crying to my husband the pain was so bad. It doesn't help that I'm pregnant and not taking meds so I have nothing to fall back on if I get inured. Tips on how to get gentle hugs?????

I just have to get over being "polite" and not saying anything because it's not worth being injured. People mean well but they can be too intense and I'm fragile. I need to remind myself that anyone who cares about me will take the time to understand why I'm fragile and won't judge me, and everyone else can just think I'm stuck up but at least I won't be in more pain. It's amazing what we will go through to keep up good impressions. I am so conditioned to just sacrifice to make others feel comfortable, but I really need to have firm boundaries and stick to them even when it's awkward.

Last edited by Smiletoday; 09/14/14 11:13 AM.

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http://www.the-rheumatologist.org/details/article/863299/Please_Dont_Shake_My_Hand.html

Article about tips to prevent painful handshakes, but I'm just going to avoid them at all costs unless it's a job interview.


Everything is okay. Trust yourself, and do not live from a place of fear.

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