Kickas.org Forums Ankylosing Spondylitis General Discussion #1 AS Web Support Group Diagnosis and family response...GRRRRRRR

Thank you to everyone who has provided me such support and advice you have all provided. On Friday I gave him a 30 day notice and told him I am moving out and I can't deal with the stress it is making it even worse. After that he called a friend and complained about all the horrible things I do which to her credit she told him she was going to call me and get my side of what has been going on. By the time I was done she was ready to rip him a new one and realized that he was being completely unacceptable in his behavior. This was yesterday that that conversation happened and we tried to talk about things and now he is trying to be supportive but I have seen this before from him that once he sees I am out the door he becomes Mr. supportive. He also told me if I move out then the relationship is done, and you know what I am ok with that. I have been working in therapy about putting myself first and the stress of the situation alone is harming and I want to have some relief from the pain both physical and emotional. I still think my gut feeling is to leave because after three years you would think the that you had a partner. I know he complains about me not being there for him, but I can hardly be there for myself right now let alone anyone else and if he can't get that I can not take it on anymore.

Thank you again for all your caring and kind support if it were not for this group and my mom I don't know where I would be right now, because I feel like I am barley hanging on as it it!!!!!

Hugs to you all!!!

i have a friend with manic depression. she was dx'ed in her mid to late 20s. prior to that she had been "the caretaker" of the relationship with her boyfriend / husband. when she got sick, she needed him to take care of her. he just didn't have it in him. once she got things under control with a psychologist and meds, she left. she could no longer be the one to handle everything, she needed someone who could step up.

i wrote that cause your situation sounds similar.

if he is like my friend's husband, and needs to be taken care of, he will probably never be able to be the caretaker of the relationship.

its nice when 2 people can take care of one another.

I know this is an old thread but I read the story and could soooo relate. My husband of 10 years at the time of my diagnosis started acting the same way. But he now gets it and couldn't be more helpful or understanding. I was lucky, no wait scratch that He was lucky he changed he gets to keep me.
I was just touching base with you to reach out to tell you that there are others as you see who have been there. If you ever need someone to talk to or chat with who has been there I am here. Hugs to you hun hope all is working out well for you.