Kickas.org Forums Ankylosing Spondylitis General Discussion #1 AS Web Support Group my doc visit

my wife kinda got ticked off when i mentioned home pt, and even more ticked when i told her about the bed...no matter how many times i tried to tell her that sleeping in a sittin position is not normal she just doesnt get it...she took it as an insult to her instead of tryin to understand that i cant sleep in the same bed as her because of all the tossin and turnin i do all night long and the fact that i can control my legs when im slepin and i dont want to kick her, or that my back wont let me lay flat and that all of this would wake her up and she wouldnt get any sleep....im really at a loss here...oak

I'm glad that you didn't break anything. Hopefully you'll be able to get some sleep.

Hi Oak, my friend.

Sorry to hear you've been knocking yourself around again, but glad it's looking better than 1st thought.

I think you and your wife will have to get separate beds (or separate rooms?) if she's not happy with your sleeping position (My hubby wasn't crazy about it either, but he's got used to the idea now!)
At least you might both get some sleep then?

Take care of yourself.
Sue

i concur with sue,

i was the one especially that thought i'd really miss sleeping with my husband,
but i think we both get a lot better sleep now.

sue

I'm sorry to hear that. When I first told Bob (my husband) about not being able to sleep at night because of spasms and rib issues - I told him I thought I'd need a hospital bed because it seemed the only way I could sleep was elevated because of pressure on my ribs and back. That night he set up a bunch of pillows on my side of the bed so that I would be laying as if in a hospital bed. I have been able to lessen the amount of pillows the longer I am on the low starch diet but am holding onto the pillows like a security blanket. The pain was pretty severe. Try the pillows on the bed and see if it is acceptable. I had used a tv pillow upside down to get more elevation then use a sham then 2 pillows stair stepped to support under my back then I have a small travel pillow that I use to support my neck or cheek - depending on how I lay. I have since eliminated the tv pillow and use just the pillows. I had some spasming last night that I hadn't had in awhile. I know I ate some starch so shame on me. It seems we have this symptom in common. Are you doing the low starch diet? I hope you find relief and understanding it means alot in this journey. Sue!

Oak,

Hope the PT and bed helps you out. I have always had a hard time sleeping and can not sleep on my back or stomach but I have ven a worse time sleeping in a sitting position. It kinks my neck and lasy for weeks trying to get it back to the way it was. You have to try to be more careful of those falls even though many times if you are like me your legs will just give way and your in the floor. Have you been ablr to get your wife into see a therapist yet? I realy think it would help if you guys could get in to see someone who specializes in helping family members understand whay we as pain patients go through.

Brent

i have tried the multi pillow thing it worked and still does but its my RLS that is a major problem i cant control my legs from floppin and kickin around, and then i slide off the pillows and then my back starts hurtin even more so im tossin and turnin and groanin due to the pain..so i sleep on the couch so she can get a good nights sleep...altho she dont see it that way. no matter how i try and explain it she thinks i dont want to be with her anymore...even tho a hospital bed would be the best thing for me she doesnt think so and since i would have to put it in a room that one of my grandkids use or suppose to use she sleeps with my wife everynight so the room aint even bein used...she wont allow it. so the i cant get the bed and i told her about the at home pt, and she went bullistic on me so the pt is out as well...i told her that my doc wants me off my feet as much as possible so i can heal quicker, she still want me to take the trash out, load and unload the dishwasher, clean the house, mow the lawn, and other things....im thinkin of leavin her and start a new life somewhere else but its hard because i am so limited on what i can do and i got no way of transporting my stuff....if i wasnt so miserable and unhappy here i think id feel better.....and then its a problem of finding a good doc again that knows what im going thru thats i think is the hardest thing to give up....sorry for the venting i didnt mean for it to end this way.....oak

just hearing how supportive your hubby/wive are saddens me knowing that my wife doesnt support me at all nor is she understanding of my inabilities to do what i used to do...maybe it is time for me to move on with my life and get away from all of this...i dont know.......oak

brent i tried several times to get her to come to my therapy sessions she just wont come to them i aint sure if it outa fear or her love of money that keeps her away...with out her participation the therapist couldnt do anymore for me since i had a positive attitude and am adjusting well with my ever increasing of lackof abilities. its the family and home life thats the problem......oak

heya sarah, im glad i didnt break anything either, doc has me on muscle relaxants and i have been able to sleep better but i still cant walk real well im all hunched over and each step is so unstable its a risk just to put one foot in frontt of the other even if i use my canes...im tryin to avoid stairs but my wife keeps callin me down there to help her with somethin or takin the trash out....im not sure what to do anymore...it feels like im in a cage and the door is welded shut....oak