Hi Karen,
Let me start by saying I am so sorry to hear about this terrible news regarding your husband's job. It just tears me up to see so many good people here at KA getting caught by this horrible economy and seeing their lives plunged into uncertainty as a result. Losing a job is bad news for anyone these days, but we all know that it is an even bigger crisis for KA members.
I'm not going to say too much more because you've received so many responses here that I'm sure you've already received some very good advice. The only thing I want to add is this: As I read your post, the one thing that kept popping into my head is that maybe it's time for your husband to at least think about changing careers. I say this for two reasons: 1) It's clear that your job is absolutely perfect for you and, as you mentioned, high-paying to boot. That's such a rare combination these days, it would be a huge shame if you had to give it up. 2) If moving is that hard on the two of you and on your kids, it does seem like this one would be even tougher than any of your past moves because you've really come to like the place you live now (not to mention the "your job" aspect of this situation). If the last one was as severe as you say (and I'm sure it was), are you sure your family can really handle making another move? This might honestly be a case where moving for what seems like the greater good--so your husband can resume his teaching career--might actually prove to be devestating to your family. I'm sorry if this is coming off as very harsh, as that's certainly not what I'm aiming for, but I am trying to look at the entire situation as objectively as possible (and, I guess, playing devil's advocate as well).
Thus, after considering those two important things, is there any chance at all that your husband could possibly change careers? After being at his present university for 8 years, how long would it take him to get tenure at a new university once he was hired? Is tenure still a realistic goal if it would take quite a few years at the new school? I know you say he loves his current job, but maybe this is the time to for your husband to ask himself, "If I could do any job now, what would my dream job be?" If the answer to that question is, "My teaching IS my dream career," then it's clear that yes, he does need to keep doing that and a move is likely the best option. However, if he decides that he has always wanted to do something else but the timing has never seemed right, maybe it is now. A very good friend of mine who was the store manager of a large bookstore (one of the national chains) was downsized a year and a half ago, which touched off a rather hellish 18 months. He briefly found work at a large national hardware chain, but the store was horribly mismanaged and he was only there for three months. He was unemployed for a year after that (when he left the hardware store, he was six months out from the bookstore job) until finally, just a week ago, he got a job as a security guard. It pays only $10 an hour, compared to the $90,000 a year he once made, and he knows that it is a temporary solution at best. With retail jobs so hard to find, he did a lot of soul-searching and decided that to ensure his job safety in the future and to find a career that would allow him to make enough money to support his family (he and his fiancee have one child), he would have to give up retail, which he enjoyed and was good at, and look for something more stable. As a result, he has decided to go back to school while he works as a security guard and become a physical therapist. He could actually be hired as a PT assistant once he starts working toward his degree, and if he gets a 2-year associate's degree, he thinks that is enough to work as a full-fledge PT. He realizes this is a career path where the current demand is very high and only expected to get higher, it pays well, and he will pretty much be able to pick and choose where he wants to work. The moral of the story is pretty clear, I think: After hitting rock bottom when he was out of work for so long, he finally reached the point where he knew he had to make some big changes in his life if he wanted to regain the happiness he once had. In essense, after an extended period of getting smacked in the face by a bunch of lemons, he finally realized it was up to him to gather up those lemons and make lemonade. Now that he has made his decision, he is already more at peace than he has been since he lost his job, and he is very excited about starting his new career path.
I know, Karen, that this is just one man's story and represents some unique circumstances, but I think the message at its core is universal: Sometimes what looks like a huge negative can actually be hiding a positive, and sometimes being forced to reevaluate one's career can lead to life decisions that work out far better than one might expect. With tough times on the horizon for you and your husband, I hope with all my heart that the two of you can talk about what might work out best for your family and reach some conclusions that benefit everyone, including your husband, who has every right to feel devestated by this difficult development. Through it all, the most important thing is for the two of you to always share your feelings as things unfold in the coming months and ensure that the lines of communication remain wide open.
I wish you the best as you try to decide what path to follow, Katen, and I will be sending positive vibes your way every day. If there is anything I can do to help in any way (helping write or proofread a resume, etc.), please let me know.
All my best,
Brad
