I posted this in reply to another string, but I am reposting under a new subject, because I think it deserves to be read by everyone.
I am new to this forum, however I post many more replies trying to help others or give sympathy (we all need it, I don't care what anyone says) than I post of my own problems. Something I have noticed since joining this forum, is that you are correct Ineptwill, that people do not want to hear of others' complaints...this is extremely sad and disappointing, in that the very NAME of this organization stands for Kindness, Information, Compassion and Knowledge. I understand that many have been here for months and even years, and that they know each other and they now have other things to talk about other than their illnesses and complaints...BUT (and it's a BIG one) the very reason that people come here as a new member is usually because they need the SUPPORT, information and a caring ear or shoulder to cry on from others who can relate to their position. It is too bad that it seems more than a few people here have "forgotten where they came from", in that once upon a time they themselves probably started out on this forum with complaints of some sort, and hoping for a bit of sympathy for what is major life stuff. There is nothing wrong with someone wanting sympathy; I even looked up the definition.
sym·pa·thy (smp-th)
n. pl. sym·pa·thies
1.
a. A relationship or an affinity between people or things in which whatever affects one correspondingly affects the other.
b. Mutual understanding or affection arising from this relationship or affinity.
2.
a. The act or power of sharing the feelings of another.
b. A feeling or an expression of pity or sorrow for the distress of another; compassion or commiseration.
We all know that AS is very difficult to live and deal with. I think we need to remember what it was like for us when we were first diagnosed, how we felt when we had our first really bad flare up, and how alone we may have felt before we learned just how impossible it is for others who have not experienced AS, to understand or even help us out.
Another thing I think is important to remember is that before we really "know" each other, it isn't easy to distinguish other people's humor from sarcasm, impatience or even all out cold-heartedness. If we don't know each other, it's hard to tell whether someone is kidding around, or what is their sense of humor.
I have seen others' postings that consist of long, detailed descriptions of their pain and/or bad days...and have been so discouraged to see that there have been (for example) 36 viewing of the post but only 3 replies. Do any of us DESERVE to be ignored, passed over, or judged as "just another one who complains"??? I think not! Every single person here deserves a chance, our attention, and the same treatment that we would hope to get for ourselves.
I will go as far as to say that anyone who discards another's attempt to reach out and be heard or understood, as "just" a cry for attention or sympathy, needs to rethink themselves and put themselves in the other person's shoes even if they have already been there and gotten through it.
Let's try to uphold the very definition of this organization's name!
If all this doesn't apply to you, then please disregard and accept my gratitude for your good and generous heart. If it DOES apply, then please take it how it was intended; to remind us of why we joined in the first place.
We are already heroes; we need not be martyrs too.
