*TM - Alohaben
Hi everyone!
As my precious Loz has informed you, I went for my first Remicade infusion yesterday. My life has been so over-the-top stressful recently, that I didn't even have time to think about it in the days before - which may have been a blessing in disguise. All I could think about as I sat there before and during the infusion was "this is so surreal".
As Loz shared with you, the infusion itself was uneventful - no site reaction, no allergy symptoms. I found myself very cold during and immediately after the infusion, but that's likely the slightly different temperature of the fluid and the drafty room itself. Afterwards I felt absolutely exhausted
- again, uncertain if this is related to the treatment or the unbelievably hectic stressful life I've had as of late. I tried to wake up a couple of times after Loz dropped me off at home, but wasn't really able to fully rouse myself until I'd 'napped' for the better part of three hours.
In the end, I stopped digging for more and more information - partly due to my schedule but mostly a subconscious decision to just stop it. There is definitely such a thing as too much information, and my nature is to focus on the negative, not the positive, which is a nasty combination
. While I am still currently functioning (under more pain and fatigue than I let myself admit), I can't know what the future will hold, for example, how much more difficult while it get in 10, 15, 25 years? So, I went for it! I'll be common-sensical when it comes to any new symptomatology, and hope that if one of the negative side effects does occur we'll catch it and deal with it sooner rather than later.
Moreover, my grandmother
died three weeks ago, and in my final conversations with her, I had told her I was going to be taking this new drug which would hopefully make me feel so much better. She had so much hope for me, and always tackled health problems in her life full-on, that I just can't let her down. Her love and legacy provide me with the bravery I need to do this
.
Thank you so very very much for your continued support and feedback. Blujay
, Megan
, Evelyn
, Alohaben
(a post from you, how special do I feel!), Tim
, Kat
, Amy
, Marnie
, Debbie
, Dan
, Gerard
, Sarah
, Possi
, Lori
and Mig
- your input means more to me than you'll ever know.
And Loz, there just aren't words love
. I had no idea that you'd been posting while I was infusing and dozing. Thank you for always being there for me.
Much love to everyone,
Jeanna
PS - Can't believe I forgot to answer the biggest question of all. Does she/Doesn't she feel any better? Well, I think it's much too soon to tell, but there was a moment yesterday when walking up the stairs didn't feel as much of a challenge as usual.... perhaps a sign of good things to come?
