Kickas.org Forums Ankylosing Spondylitis General Discussion #1 AS Web Support Group The Next Few Weeks

Iam surprised I am here posting tonight, when I first joined here I was more messes up than a soup sandwich. I had alot of things going wrong, physical, financial, and last but not least, mental. I had to go on Social security, even had to move in with my parents. Nothing like being poor and sick at the same time, fighting with the insurance company. Not getting paid, denied claims, anxiety and mostly losing my independence.
I go see the company doctor next week, they will likely give me an early retirement.
I want to try and work again if they will let me. But I really am not confident I can make a go of it even though Iam feeling better.
Some changes at work since I left, 10 hour shifts, and more.
I have been exercising the past few months, in order to get back in work mode.and feeling decent in comparison to when I left.
should I go ahead and retire or go back? Iam afraid of going back and failing again, but I feel like I should try.

Hi Elmer,

I haven't talked to you in a while.

The disability retirement is so tough. Having to quit working when you still have the want to is the hardest thing.

I have to ask "why" you think you "should" try. If you want to and not because you "should" then I would go for it. I have lived too much of my with "shoulds".

One thing is making the effort to work because you want to and your not body not being up to it is not "you" failing. It is just your body not in the physical condition to work. Just think that out and know that if it doesn't work, you gave it all you had because that was what you wanted to do and your body just couldn't do it. That is not a failure.

I want to work also it is not to be. One thing is since my body cratered, I got old.

I am sure nothing I have said came out the way I meant it to. I hope Lon shows up. His words always come out right.

No one questions the fact that you want to work and you have been trying to get physically stronger. Just go for it knowing that if you can't do it, Elmerfudd didn't fail, his body is just not strong.

Blessings.

Only you know what will be best for you Elmer. You really have tried to remain up and positive. I too wanted to keep working but between Fibro and A.S. it wasn't meant to be and that was clear back in 2000. It takes a little getting used to not working but it sure is nice when you feel like hell that you can just grab your heating pad and go to ground!

If you feel you want to try it then I think you should if not for nothing more then to say you did try. Only you know your cycles with this disease. Ten hour shifts sound formidable. That's really a lot especially if it is physical work. Good luck Elmer.

Hello there Elmer,

Going back to work is a personal decision, you will know your limitations better than any of us here. Fortunately I can still work, but I know I cannot do any real physical jobs... just would not last very long despite doing well.

Is there anyway for you to "test" if you can do it... find something similar to do for 1 to 2 weeks and see how it goes?

Best,

Tim

I was faced with the same decision almost 25 yrs. ago, at the age of 39. Was told if I did not,I would probably be in a wheel chair at an early age. My job involved a lot of driving, and the deciding factor was the fact that my neck was locking up and I was becoming a danger to myself and others on country roads and blind intersections. I would still rather be working, but it was not meant to be. Good Luck whatever you decide.
J.R.

My vote is to do what makes the most sense health wise. For instance, can you work part time? Do you have to do the same job at the same place? Or could you do something less dangerous? I'm thinking of going back to work as well but I'm just in the thinking phase right now. I'm also thinking of grad school. I wrote a pro & con list and that helped!

Elmer, if you want to go back to work, then fight for you. You've been on a better lifestyle and the exercise will have gone a long way toward your endurance on the job. But 10 hours is an awfully long shift and it sounds like you do quite a physical job. Really only you know yourself well enough, but make sure you're listening to your body in this, and not to your fear of failure.

In this case, being unable is not failure, it is truly being unable to do the job. So, you need to ask yourself whether or not you can actually, physically do your job. What is your gut telling you? You won't know until you address your fears and let them slip to one side while you make your decision.

IMHO, anyway.

Love and Warm Hugs,

I've always felt like I wasn't contributing enough if I didn't work pretty much full time, until a year ago when I was made redundant and forced to only work much much shorter hours and take some extra disability payments. It didn't sit right with me for a while, but now I'm realising I'm contributing so much more to my community because not having the pressure of work every single day, means I can do so much more voluntary work, and do the stuff that means more to me. I guess if you can look for the positive and the opportunity in whatever you decide to do, or whatever gets thrown at you, then it can be there, and you can feel good about what you do, whether its paid work, or what everyone else your age does or not.

I also think 10 hours is too long, you need good rest and sleep.

I will be happy to get this behind me either way. Just the thought of being "retired" is not what I need right now, What I need is more money plain and simple. I am very unhappy with my current living situation, and I am very stressed and I need to change that and get my life back. It's just the difference of poverty and food stamps or a very well paying job to where I can live independently and have a better life.
The pain is always going to be there, I hope to stave off the poverty, and hardships it will cause my daughter.