Kickas.org Forums Ankylosing Spondylitis General Discussion #1 AS Web Support Group Illness, Depression, Anxiety, Suicidal Thinking

Same here. After suffering myself and learning that only meds were going to reverse the chemical changes, never understood why some believed I could just *poof* and 'change' my mind. Welcome back, John.

This is a good discussion. I have been depressed now for 6 months. I wonder how anyone can live with it day in and day out without help. One thing we did not expect was that my husband would become depressed after his heart attack which the Dr.s said was normal as well. I don't know if mine was all situational with my dad and other family members dying on top of a huge flare and a blindsided hit from my daughter or if was just coming on already and everything else threw the gas on it.

I am quite a cerebral person anyway but this takes it to a whole new level. I have no desire to have fun, no desire to do anything.

I absolutely agree with you Lon. I still have found ministries to participate in even if I am barely functional so I don't give up. People have started to realize that I need them now instead of the other way around and I have more visitors this way. Some of them are dreadfully ill or depressed as well. I don't like to talk about my depression but it helps.

Some days I don't want to pull myself up by the bootstraps and do anything at all but I notice, if I get just a good phone call from someone uplifting, I am up with a dust rag in my hand cleaning. It makes me feel pathetic that I need someone encouraging me all of the time to get things done. I really don't have a lot of people who have the time to do it either as they all work. Depression hurts your heart. It's easy for me to tell my husband that I am needy that day or this day but I can't do it to a friend. I think some how they are figuring this out and coming over and sending cards and calling more.

Now I feel like I am loosing my mother to depression. It has been almost a year now since my father died and she is getting worst instead of better. She lives in Kansas and I am up here in the Seattle area and I call her almost daily. She is very, very good at hiding her emotions. I realized something was wrong when I went into the hospital a week ago and she was angry about it and has never called me to see how I was. After talking to her the other day I got the impression that she completely had forgotten about it. She told me that she went out and bought another new car (Just bought one about 3 months ago) well, she traded it in. Instead of freaking out about it, I asked her if she like it. She said "No, it's too big and the gas mileage is horrible". She then went on to say, "I bought all new furniture, new carpet and had every room repainted and bought these cars to fill up a hole that can't be filled up". Before I could say anything at all, she said "I'm tired and going to bed" click, and hung up! Now on top of my own depression, I am worried about hers. I can't even cry now as I am shutting down to protect myself. Not good either. Yes, I see a therapist and she listens and then out the door I go.

I'm tired of it all. Wish there was a camp to go to for a couple of weeks and work through it all with a bunch of therapist and others going through depression. Sorry I went on and on. Quite cerebral today. Love you guys and thank you for your stories. It helps a lot.

Thanks to all who have welcomed me back. I wasn't "gone", really, just lurking when I've had time.

That happens when I'm writing.

I hate to see people suffer unnecessarily from clinical depression when that pain, at least, can be easily alleviated by an MD with a functioning brain and a prescription pad.

Shalom,

John

I urge everyone to remember that NAMI, SAMHSA, and AAS together have all manner of FREE classes & training, telephone & online crisis counselors, and prevention strategies. This is a massive public health issue, and it is essential to discuss the taboo in order to squash the stigma. Even if people from out of country call or write to any of these places, they will respond with something nearby wherever you live.
Peace to all of you.

Here's an interesting and surprisingly relevant link!

http://jewishworldreview.com/0612/still_depressed.php3

Shalom,

John

WOW! I'm posting that article on Kaylan Rose Campbell Foundation for LIFE & NAMI Western Slope - both on facebook. Actually I'll post it on my grief group as well. Amazing. IT'S ALMOST LIKE SCIENCE IS SAYING OUR HEADS AND OUR BODIES ARE CONNECTED IN SOME MANNER!

thanks for sharing that! sounds like that result surprised everyone. almost counterintuitive if one thinks: pain fuels depression, nsaids help with the pain. but instead, it works differently.

Thank you for sharing that. My husband has dealt with depression all of his life and he has made sure that our children understand and are aware of the tendencies. They are and a couple have seeked help. We as a family feel that it is no different than any of the other diseases/illnesses that we have.

I really needed to read this and I appreciate your sharing very much.

Hugs and Blessings.
Possi

you're welcome

John,
Hi
good work
nice job.... I suspected as much, lol

You did good!