Kickas.org Forums Ankylosing Spondylitis General Discussion #1 AS Web Support Group husband is losing job

It's been a tough week. My husband David, who is a college professor, got word on Tuesday that he is not being recommended for tenure. Basically, what this means is that he is losing his job. He gets to stay for one more year. Since there is very little chance of him finding another job where we are currently living, this means we most likely be moving in summer 2010.

Three of our children are students at the college where he is working and get free tuition because of him working there. Two of them will graduate by next spring, but the third will be halfway through college in spring of 2010. We don't have any way to pay for college for her after this, so either she is going to have to take out loans or hope that my husband gets a new position which includes free tuition. My youngest son will be just finishing 10th grade and so will have to move in the middle of high school. He is at a public magnet school, an all college-prep high school and loves it there.

I work at the same place as David and I love my job. It's work I enjoy and am good at. The hours are flexible, the pay is good and it accommodates all of my physical limitations well. I like working near my husband and three of my kids. It's a unique job, so it's doubtful whether I'll be able to find anything similar wherever we end up.

David is devastated. He's barely eaten or slept for the last three days. In the 25 years we've been married, we've lived in eight states. Prior to living in Pennsylvania, we lived in Iowa for 12 years. Iowa was home and it was very difficult to leave, except David was very unhappy with his job there. The last move was so difficult it almost destroyed us. We were determined to make it work here so we would never have to move again.

Now we feel at home here. We have friends and a life. My husband actually was happy in his job. We like our house and neighborhood.

I've cried a lot in the last three days. I dread losing my job and our home and the life we've built here. I'm always lonely for the first few years in a new place.

Both of us are angry at the way he has been treated by the university. David threw himself heart and soul into this job and feels used. I think they chewed him up and then spat him out.

Life will go on. It always does. I keep picking up my feet and putting them down and doing the next thing that has to be done. But right now, I'm tired and angry and very, very sad.

Karen

I'm sorry Karen, this sounds terrible. Moving house and job is very stressful even when you want to do it. To have it forced on you like this is stink.

Hopefully some good will come from this in some way even though it's hard to think past the upheaval right now.


Chelsea

Oh, Karen...I'm so sorry to hear that yall are going through this! How awful, this just stinks! I hope that maybe something will change over the next year and David may be asked to stay on, whatever happens, I'm wishing yall the best...

I am sorry to hear this news.
I have managed to have two churches fire me. So Lin has had to deal with such things. Draw closer to each other. Say those words that unite rather than seperate and do what is good for the both of you. Your kids will survive, mine survived me. Do you have a support system where you live?

Hey Karen,
Wow, I'm sorry to hear about your husband. That has to really be difficult for the whole family. That really has to be hard to know that someplace doesn't want you, but you can stick around to basically bail them out for another year. That's just wrong.

I hope that he finds something close by at least. I know what moving can do to a family, even if it isn't half way across the country. I swore that I would never do it again.

Hang in there

Keep Kickin'AS
Chris

So sorry to hear that Karen!

Not to be a Pollyanna (you know, those stories about the little girl who always saw the "bright side" of everything) but keeping his job for a year, might give him some opportunities to look for a new job in your area, before the paychecks stop coming in?

My wife Marsha teaches at NYU, and things are getting pretty tense there too, with the recession and all, but enrollment is actually up, apparently with people losing their employment, a good number of them are going back to get the degrees they couldn't get when they were working.

I'm thinking of this current economic situation as a real challenge to "hang in there" for a while, there are some signs that we are possibly on the bottom of it, and in my opinion this country has infinitely better leadership than it did a few months ago-

I hope this won't affect your plans to go to the Mayo clinic?

Oh Karen,

I am so sorry!

I would be devastated too and you have every right to be..

I'm having a hard time wrapping my head around we don't need you anymore but you can stay one more year...maybe something in his contract?

I know it seems like your whole world is torn up right now, hopefully between now and this time next year something will come in the form of a blessing (we will all cross our fingers real hard, that and pray)

Hugs,

Lisa

Thanks Chelsea. Yes, is absolutely stinks to have it forced on us.

Karen

I keep hoping myself, Michelle. There is one very powerful person who is irate about this and fighting for my husband. It doesn't look very hopeful, though.

Karen

Lon,
Thanks for the advice. It's a good reminder. We've spent a lot of time crying in each other's arms in the last few days.

Yes, I have a support system where I am. That's the problem. We've moved so frequently, I know what it's like not to have anyone to turn to, so I appreciate what I have. Now we'll have to start all over again.

Karen