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If you want to use this QR code (Quick Response code) just save the image and paste it where you want. You can even print it and use it that way. Coffee cups, T-Shirts etc would all be good for the QR code.
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Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 532
Veteran_AS_Kicker
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Veteran_AS_Kicker
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 532 |
Thank you all so much for your support. I know it is not me. It just came as a big shock. We were just so close and all of sudden, we broke up. I agree he does have issues to work through, and based on what he has told me, I don't think he has gotten help to cope with his issues from his childhood.  Also he is bipolar too. So that could be it too! He did say he knew about my back issues, but he did not expect this to be THAT bad! He did say this is painful for him as well.
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Joined: Mar 2002
Posts: 9,552 Likes: 10
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Joined: Mar 2002
Posts: 9,552 Likes: 10 |
Been there done that with losing someone due to my AS. I look at it similar to how others have posted, the AS weeds out the shallow souls of the gene pool for me.
Hope you find someone special that is more fitting for you!
Take care,
Tim
AS may win some battles, but I will win the war.
KONK - Keep ON Kicking
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Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 5
New_Member
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New_Member
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 5 |
You poor girl! Something similar happened to me at the beginning of this year, I had been seeing a man for about 6 weeks and the fact that I had been getting physio and acupuncture had come up a couple of times. I casually mentioned the arthritis and tried to play it down. He kept asking questions and couldn't be convinced it wasn't contagious! It would be nice to have a nice partner who understands assritis.  Oops, am I allowed to say "assritis" on here? Keeps my sense of humour up... Take it easy!
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Joined: Nov 2001
Posts: 18,187 Likes: 7
Very_Addicted_to_AS_Kickin
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Very_Addicted_to_AS_Kickin
Joined: Nov 2001
Posts: 18,187 Likes: 7 |
Cher, add my name to the list of folk who had less than understanding partners. You truly are better off without this jerk; although, I know it's very painful to you right now. My jerk's inability to cope didn't rear its ugly head until we'd been living together for a month. One month was all it took for his true colours to shine brightly (there were other issues, by the way, that became evident within 24 hours, but his attitude about the AS is what killed it for me).
You, my dear, are a lovely human being and deserve to be loved and respected for all that you are. End of story. Everyone else is being philosophical about him needing to deal with his childhood issues - and part of me wants to do that too. However, a larger part of me wants to whack him upside the head for transposing his issues onto you and causing you more pain than you already have to live with. Makes me just want to spit.
For the time being, I prescribe chocolate (really dark chocolate and lots of it) and a good chick flick that's guaranteed to have you going through about 15 boxes of kleenex.
Many gentle hugs,
Kat
A life lived in fear is a life half lived.
"Strictly Ballroom"
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Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 7
New_Member
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New_Member
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 7 |
Sorry to hear about that but, unfortunately, it is one of the many things that you'll have to get used too. You might be lucky and find a sweet soul who really does understand, but for many this doesn't happen. I've now been divorced for 10 years and still live alone. Maybe the fact that I'm old has stood me in good stead but it still doesn't heal the hurt. Keep lookin & good luck.
The Rasberry of Woolwich
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Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 624
Master_Sergeant_AS_Kicker
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Master_Sergeant_AS_Kicker
Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 624 |
Well me and the Prince lasted 10 mos....living together anyway....then the fun began. It is hard to hide severe mental illness. Especially when the other person has her head up her a$$.
Amy:)
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Joined: May 2005
Posts: 212
Second_Degree_AS_Kicker
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Second_Degree_AS_Kicker
Joined: May 2005
Posts: 212 |
You`re better off without that selfish prat.
just imagine what he future would have been like with a pathetic dingbat like him!
You are better than that.
C`mon you can get through this darlin.
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Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 809
Ninja_AS_Kicker
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Ninja_AS_Kicker
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 809 |
Quote:
Thank you all so much for your support. I know it is not me. It just came as a big shock. We were just so close and all of sudden, we broke up. I agree he does have issues to work through, and based on what he has told me, I don't think he has gotten help to cope with his issues from his childhood.
Also he is bipolar too. So that could be it too! He did say he knew about my back issues, but he did not expect this to be THAT bad! He did say this is painful for him as well.
I agree with the others, you are better off without someone who does not understand. However, I think that he needs therapy, since he will not be able to form any lasting relationships with any woman until he deals with the abuse issues. I have been there with abuse issues and I know how important it is for someone who has been abused to receive the necessary therapy.
I have been with my husband for 30 years. We celebrate our 30th wedding anniversary at the end of the year. He will not even look up what it means to have ankylosing spondylitis, and he keeps telling me that I am a hypochondriac. He does not want to acknowledge my back pain, but it is a whole different kettle of fish when he has back pain, or sore legs. Yes, it gets me very angry when he is behaving in this manner. A little understanding will go a long way in resolving some of my own extra issues.
Just remember that the dust has been shaken from your feet, and then go out and have some fun. If this man really has had feelings for you then he would take the plunge and get that therapy.
MaggieinOz
Today is the first day of the rest of my life
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Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 3,413 Likes: 1
Imperial_AS_Kicker
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Imperial_AS_Kicker
Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 3,413 Likes: 1 |
Hey...how long is "Awhile"? Because awhile can be "til death do us part" if you are serious, and he needs to deal with your AS...if he can't deal with "once a month"...forget that...it may be hard, but what if you hurt once a day....several times a day??
I've been there and am single as a result...somedays I wish it weren't so, but if someone can't deal with AS, and as a result reject YOU as a person, then they are not the "one"...
I feel for ya, you Rock for sharing, hang in there!
Linc
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Joined: May 2003
Posts: 1,221
Copper_AS_Kicker
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Copper_AS_Kicker
Joined: May 2003
Posts: 1,221 |
Another one weeded out for you so its less to sift though until you get to YOUR perfect man.
I do feel for you in this situation I could only imagine how hard it must be and the different emotions it brings with it.
There are perfect men out there that wont even care what your physical flaws are they'll just care for you. I have been with hubby 12 yrs now I was offically dx 3.5 yrs ago and hubby will rub my back EVERY NIGHT. He will help me with anything, Great men are there! This one was just on a different path to you. Dont take it personally or atleast try not to, the whole line of "Its not you its me!"...Really applies to him.
Take care
Sal
 The most important questions you will ever answer are those that your children ask you.
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Finally dx'ed with AS after 10 years.
Yes, that is my cat in the picture of me. Yes, he does look pizzed! He doesn't like being held! 
