Kickas.org Forums Ankylosing Spondylitis General Discussion #1 AS Web Support Group Monty Python question

One of my favorite scenes is in Meaning of Life:

The mom is standing at the sinking. She gives birth right there. She non-chalantly turns to an older girl and says:

"Would you mind picking that up for me, dearie?"

Too funny!

"Life of Brian"

Brian selling "Imperial Titbits" to the crowd at the Colosseum....

"Otter's Nose..... Bagder's spleens... Wolf Nipple chips... get 'em while they're hot... they're lovely....."




ANON4NOW

"Yesterday is history, Tomorrow is a mystery but today is a gift, that's why it's THE PRESENT"

Just impossible to pick a favourite Tim, but so much of it is in the timing, and where timing is concerned this one gets the prizes: (sorry so long)

The argument room:



Man: Is this the right room for an argument?
Other Man: (pause) I've told you once.
Man: No you haven't!
Other Man: Yes I have.
Man: When?
Other Man: Just now.
Man: No you didn't!
Other Man: Yes I did!
Man: You didn't!
Other Man: I did!
Man: You didn't!
Other Man: I'm telling you, I did!
Man: You didn't!
Other Man: (breaking into the developing argument) Oh I'm sorry, is this a five minute argument, or the full half hour?
Man: Ah! (taking out his wallet and paying) Just the five minutes.
Other Man: Just the five minutes. Thank you. Anyway, I did.
Man: You most certainly did not!
Other Man: Now let's get one thing perfectly clear: I most definitely told you!
Man: Oh no you didn't!
Other Man: Oh yes I did!
Man: Oh no you didn't!
Other Man: Oh yes I did!
Man: Oh no you didn't!
Other Man: Oh yes I did!
Man: Oh no you didn't!
Other Man: Oh yes I did!
Man: Oh no you didn't!
Other Man: Oh yes I did!
Man: Oh no you didn't!
Other Man: Oh yes I did!
Man: No you DIDN'T!
Other Man: Oh yes I did!
Man: No you DIDN'T!
Other Man: Oh yes I did!
Man: No you DIDN'T!
Other Man: Oh yes I did!
Man: Oh look, this isn't an argument!

(pause)

Other Man: Yes it is!
Man: No it isn't!

(pause)

Man: It's just contradiction!
Other Man: No it isn't!
Man: It IS!
Other Man: It is NOT!
Man: You just contradicted me!
Other Man: No I didn't!
Man: You DID!
Other Man: No no no!
Man: You did just then!
Other Man: Nonsense!
Man: (exasperated) Oh, this is futile!!

(pause)

Other Man: No it isn't!
Man: Yes it is!
(pause)
I came here for a good argument!
Other Man: AH, no you didn't, you came here for an argument!
Man: An argument isn't just contradiction.
Other Man: Well! it CAN be!
Man: No it can't!
An argument is a connected series of statement intended to establish a proposition.
Other Man: No it isn't!
Man: Yes it is! 'tisn't just contradiction.
Other Man: Look, if I argue with you, I must take up a contrary position!
Man: Yes but it isn't just saying "no it isn't".
Other Man: Yes it is!
Man: No it isn't!
Other Man: Yes it is!
Man: No it isn't!
Other Man: Yes it is!
Man: No it ISN'T! Argument is an intellectual process. Contradiction is just the automatic gainsaying of anything the other person says.
Other Man: It is NOT!
Man: It is!
Other Man: Not at all!
Man: It is!

DING! (the arguer hits a bell on his desk and stops.)

Other Man: Thank you, that's it.
Man: (stunned) What?

Other Man: That's it. Good morning.
Man: But I was just getting interested!
Other Man: I'm sorry, the five minutes is up.
Man: That was never five minutes!!
Other Man: I'm afraid it was.
Man: (leading on) No it wasn't.....

(pause)

Other Man: (dirty look) I'm sorry, I'm not allowed to argue any more.
Man: WHAT??
Other Man: If you want me to go on arguing, you'll have to pay for another five minutes.
Man: But that was never five minutes just now!
(pause... the Other Man raises his eyebrows)
Oh this is...
This is ridiculous!
Other Man: I told you... I told you, I'm not allowed to argue unless you PAY!
Man: Oh all right. (takes out his wallet and pays again.) There you are.
Other Man: Thank you.
Man: (clears throat) Well...
Other Man: Well WHAT?
Man: That was never five minutes just now.
Other Man: I told you, I'm not allowed to argue unless you've paid!
Man: Well I just paid!
Other Man: No you didn't!
Man: I DID!!!
Other Man: YOU didn't!
Man: I DID!!!
Other Man: YOU didn't!
Man: I DID!!!
Other Man: YOU didn't!
Man: I DID!!!
Other Man: YOU didn't!
Man: (unable to talk straight he's so mad) I don't want to argue about it!
Other Man: Well I'm very sorry but you didn't pay!
Man: Ah HAH!! Well if I didn't pay, why are you arguing??? Ah HAAAAAAHHH! Gotcha!


Other Man: (pause) No you haven't!
Man: Yes I have!
If you're arguing, I must have paid.
Other Man: Not necessarily.
I could be arguing in my spare time.



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     Loz



"Think like a wise man but communicate in the language of the people." William Butler Yeats (1865 - 1939)

I agree, THE LIFE OF BRIAN.

The Stoning, Are there any woman here.
What have the Romans done for us.
And the Names scene, Bigus ?????.
Roman Diction.
The crack sucide squad.
Always look on the Bright Side of Life.

The Holy Grail was not as good.
The Holy grenade, thout shall count to 3.
The rabbit.
We want a shrubbery.
It is just a flesh wound, come back and I'll bite your ankles.

And the Dead Parrot Sketch.

The other good series of funny Movies is Mel Brooks, Especially Robin Hood Men in Tights, Blazing Saddles, SpaceBalls etc.

Another movie I came across by accident was "Mr Bones", it is a South African movie (I think), similar to the Gods must be Crazy, but much better.

Wayne

Ahhhh... Mel Brooks.....

Badges... we don't need no stinking badges!!! (classic)

How about Young Frankenstein and the Producers as well.

Tim

Hope is only a post away with KickAS.

Loz,

That is so hilarious... I was dying laughing reading that. Thanks for posting.

Tim

Hope is only a post away with KickAS.

It's 'Life of Brian'...for anyone who has ever taken Latin, that Cleese-as-centurion scene is spot-on. And the NAMES: "He has a wife--you know...-"
The theme song is ...well... odd in consideration of the 'Goldfinger' connection (Pussy Galore's Flying Circus).

The ne plus ultra is Cook/Moore's 'Bedazzled.' How many times must you see it to get all the sight gags? (answer: About thirty before I dragged a friend who got one I knew was there, but could not identify). Besides, nuns on trampolines cannot be underestimated as anti-AS medicine ('...did not know you could bite your ankle!')!

And 'Theatre of Blood' with Vincent Price and Diana Rigg! Robert Morley scene is TASTY...if not in the best of taste.

There are some American films that approach these; Mel Brooks and Steve Martin do possess some of the savvy nuance and subtle entendre, albeit employed all too sparingly.

Happy watching,
John

"Unfortunately, the soul’s need for learning often brings about the full-blown disease. And it must be cared for creatively, or allowed to take its course."
William A. McGarey, M.D., Director of Medical Research, A.R.E Clinic.

I love that movie too, but I still need subtitles for some parts.

Hana

Hey Tim!

One of my fav parts is the Knights of Ni,... Ni Ni Ni Ni ! That, and the attack rabbit!

Of Monty Python skits, I love the parrot bit ...
~ "ah...probably pining for the fjords.
~ Pinin' for the fjords?! 'E's not pinin'! 'E's passed on! This parrot is no more! He has ceased to be!"

And love the segue to...
~ Well, I never wanted to do this in the first place. I wanted to be... A Lumberjack!
They are such silly men!



mig

'E's not pinin'! 'E's passed on! This parrot is no more! He has ceased to be! 'E's expired and gone to meet 'is maker! 'E's a stiff! Bereft of life, 'e rests in peace! If you hadn't nailed 'im to the perch 'e'd be pushing up the daisies! 'Is metabolic processes are now 'istory! 'E's off the twig! 'E's kicked the bucket, 'e's shuffled off 'is mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin' choir invisible! THIS IS AN EX-PARROT!



Ian




Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. --Benjamin Franklin