Kickas.org Forums Ankylosing Spondylitis General Discussion #1 AS Web Support Group I'm still kicking, I think..

Just wanted to let everyone know I haven't fallen over a cliff or anything. Thanks for the hugs and kind thoughts to my last post. I'm sorry I'm not posting like I used to. Maybe this post will explain why.

I'm still feeling terrible. Pain levels are quite high. I think I'm finally recovering from the flu. I'm no longer fevering/chilling/fainting any more. The nice part is I lost 15 pounds, but what a way to do it. My iritis flare from December is still hanging around. Sometimes I just wish I could leave this body for a while. I hurt all over worse than anyplace else.

I dropped out of school Monday. I hated to do it. I'm not a quitter by any means, so this was a painful decision to make. I will miss it, but I don't do well when I'm loaded with pain meds, and definately don't do well without pain meds. Something had to go in my life as I just am not coping. I made a big batch of no-bake cookies for my classmates (all teenage boys) and they all said they would miss me. I think they'll miss the treats more.

Yesterday evening after work, Roger headed to town to pick up a load of water, and I decided to tag along. We ended up getting run over by a UPS truck. I'll still a bit shook up, and will probably be picking glass slivers out for weeks to come and fighting infection. I didn't realize how far shattered windows go. And when you're already in the ditch, where can you go? First bad word I've said in a long time. I called the driver a puss-gut. And now I just broadcasted it over the internet. Looks like they were right, I am turning into a bad girl.

Still working on my son's wedding. Hopefully doing a bit of sewing every day will get it done. My children are helping. Even had my future daughter-in-law ironing and cutting fabric. She may make a good wife by the time I'm through with her.

I have a rhuemy visit tomorrow in Altoona. I'm NOT looking forward to the l-o-n-g drive. Riding in a vehicle makes my neck worse. (especially if someone runs into us) Hopefully the x-rays will show what's going on in my neck. I just don't think I could live through an MRI. (I probably could, I'm just feeling whiny about it all.) My hands are getting worse and I'm getting to the point where I can hardly walk because of the pain. I'm also having problems with balance. I'm terrified of falling in the wrong place. I've taken a few tumbles here at home, but not hurt myself more than just a few bruises.

I guess life goes on. I am so grateful for KickAS. Here I have found friendship, information, understanding, and even had a bit of fun now and then. I'm sorry that I'm not able to participate like I used to, but I can blame it on AS and FMS. I think I may have the battle between my ears won, but it looks like I'm losing the war from the neck down. I'm still planning on going to the Mid-West Blowout, even if I have to be carried in on a stretcher. So watch out, this hillbilly is still kicking.

Hugs,

Cindy

Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we are here we might as well dance.

Hi Cindy,

It's good to hear from you. You are an inspiration to us all. You are very strong. I want you to know that I think of you often and wonder how you are. Your recent posts have really touched my heart.

Hearing your pain makes me so mad at AS. It makes me want to fight harder... I'm still now sure how to do that, but I am working on it...

You keep doing what your doing to stay strong. Don't let this beat you. I am keeping you in my prayers. We can always turn to the Lord when there's nowhere else to turn.

Take care,

Angie

Cindy,
I'm glad to hear that you've not lost you sense of humor!
I'm so sorry that you've had another thing to deal with, like getting run over bya truck!!
Didn't you know girl, we can feel like that without actually having to experience it??
I hope your Rheumy visit goes sell, and that your trip goes smoothly!
Keep up the good fight, and what a gal! Sewing with a bad neck is the last thing in the world you need to be doing, let alone working, and baking for others!Whew!!
(((HUGS))) Laura

Cindy,

Even in your pain, your words sound like you......hopeful, warm, sweet and strong

Like you I'm still trying to get over the flu and have been miserable, but the AS symptoms have fled and left me with heart and breathing problems......where does it ever end

I lost 10 pounds and still have to force myself and eat and drink. I think this flu strain is a very different kind than I've ever had before. Of course, I don't get the flu very often and now I know why I didn't miss it

You didn't need an accident on top of everything else, poor girl
I'm sorry about school for you too, you were doing so well. Life is so unfair at times

Take care and know that you are in my thoughts daily

hugs,

linda

HI Cindy,

How you get out of pain soon.

Is this your normal study visit. If you find out any info let me know.
....like are they going to extend the study
...about the peripheral pain
...about the med not working any more, etc

My study viist is in April. I'm doing better. Just had a few weeks of something. Not sure what. The pain in fingers has decreased, etc.

The guy that I am dating now has a Masters degree in Immunology. He says that it is not uncommon for medications to stop working. He had a special name for this but I can not remember what it is.

He has read some of the abstracts and technical papers on KICKAS. I'm tring to get him to post after he does further research. He has told me more about AS and arthritis than my doc.

Dragon Slayer would have fun conversing with him.

Since he is an Endodontist / Periodondist, he said that he needed to brush up on the immunology before posting.



Betty

Poor Cindy. I'm so sorry you're having such a rotten run of bad luck. Getting run over by a UPS truck certainly wouldn't help at all!!!

I do hope things improve for you soon. I haven't been around much lately myself, but I'm guessing the Enbrel didn't work out? What a shame - I though you were doing so well on it too.........:(

Take care. I'm sending prayers and best wishes for better times ahead.

(((((((((HUGS)))))))))
Sue

Hey Cindy!
That's a bummer about school, and the accident sounds horrible....you hang in there, things will turn around....it's just a moment, this time will pass...(ok, I admit that's a U2 lyric!)

Peace, stay the course!!!
Linc

Linc O'Brien

Dear Cindy,

You've been through quite of moments, sorry for not being with you, I am not staying on kickas too much lately so I might miss some words about you.

I will cross my finger and bended knee for you, hopefully you can be strong and your pain will ease away, plus ... congratulation for your son wedding .

Take care,
Sinta

Hi Cindy!

Yikes, run over by a UPS truck?! I guess count your blessings you could walk away from it huh? Still, I have been in a few accidents during my lifetime and I can relate to the pain after from being thrown about, it takes days if not weeks to recover sometimes. I'm so glad you were not injured badly whew! It sure sounds like your having a run of bad luck right now but hopefully things will turn postive for you real soon. I also understand how you feel about dropping out of school I had to do that when I first became ill in my 20's but when I was older with young kids I did try to go back and was doing pretty well until I got real sick again. It's real hard to concentrate when your in extreme pain. I'm glad you have your son's wedding to look forward to even though I have a feeling you will push yourself to help all you can. It is still good to have postive things in ours lives, helps take our focus off our pain even for a little while. I hope your doctors visit goes well tomorrow, I mean today I really need to go to bed Puss-Gut eh?

Keep laughing Cindy!
peace
Kathy

"The most beautiful stones have been tossed by the wind and washed by the waters and polished to brilliance by life's strongest storms."

Don't know what I can add to what the others have said, life can be so unfair at times!!!! The frosting on the cake had to be being hit by a truck Maybe the rheumy will have some ideas of where to go from here, you must feel so discouraged. There are times in the past when I've wanted nothing more than a body transplant - - not the head, just the body, I think my head is still okay although some members of my family and some of my closest friends may beg to differ sometimes Keep posting when you can, we miss you, and never lose that sense of humor, it's a vital tool in dealing with this AS stuff!

Cheryl

Dogs don't care if the house is clean