Kickas.org Forums Ankylosing Spondylitis General Discussion #1 AS Web Support Group User Banned

I find much of this debate very troubling. The part that bothers me the most is the cavalier attitude toward things that were sent via private messages and via email--frankly, my opinion is that those shouldn't play a role in this. In most bulletin boards, when there is a debate on a topic that becomes a personal debate, users are usually told to take the debate off the board and into private, either email or PMs. That way, the people in question can handle their differences off the board and not rile up the entire community. To me, threatening to publish what someone sent you in public without their permission is just wrong, and quite possibly illegal. Along the same lines, alluding to those same messages that were sent in private and saying things like "oh boy, if only you could see how bad they are" without being able to present proof is just as inflammatory as publishing the messages. So I'm contradicting myself, right--someone SHOULD publish the messages so the others CAN see just how bad they are??? No, that's not it at all--the only safe way to handle private messaages is to keep them that way entirely--PRIVATE. They have no place in what discussions occurr here on the board. (If someone wants to publish a private message that they themselves wrote, well, I don't see how to stop that, but odds are, you're only doing it to further incite an already inflamed situation, so perhaps you should think twice before you do that too.)

Well, Cody did take things private, as far as I can see. He stopped posting his comments that offended others (they didn't bother me at all, but that's a different debate), and he took his battle to private means. The fact that many of you don't like what he sent you should really play no part on the board now, and I think it is very wrong to ban a member for comments they made OFF THE BOARD. If you are upset by what he sent you, and think that it is either pornographic or threatening, then take it up with his mail service provider or his ISP. There are means of tracking down his ISP without too many problems, and most services will act against members who send abusive or threatening emails or messages. That is the way this situation should have been handled, and I feel Cody should have been allowed to stay. If he then posted things that were inappropriate on the board, then you could have a reason to ban him. And, because Cody seems to revel in bucking the system, odds are he would give you reason to do that soon enough any way. I'm sure many here will disagree with me, but this is my opinion, and I am just as free to state it as you are to state yours disagreeing with me.

And, don't think for a minute that I'm saying people should have total freedom of speech on this board and that the administrators are wrong to try to rein people in. I don't feel that way. I know this is a private bulletin board, not a publicly run one, and that means there will certainly be restrictions on what can and can't be discussed. I think people are a tad too sensitive here, but I do understand that some children read the site, and I do understand that the administrator's choose to run the site that way. No problem there.

However, as we contiune to grow, the sad fact is we are probably going to need some clarification of the rules and perhaps even a Terms of Service agreement that people agree to when they become members. Formalizing the process would make the rules very clear, and would probably minimized disputes in the future. Rules can't cover every circumstance in advance, but they can help lend structure. I am also a regular at the Massachusett's General Hospital Neurology Webforums (http://neuro-mancer.mgh.harvard.edu/cgi-bin/Ultimate.cgi), which has an excellent chronic pain discussion group and over 150 other bulletin boards, some of which have more than 150,000 messages posted. The admin there, John Lester, has set up an excellent terms of service agreement that very clearly states what is and isn't acceptable. It is VERY restrictive, if you are a free speech advocate (as I am), but the hospital's lawyers made it clear to John that if the board was going to stay open, strict rules needed to be enforced to minimize the hospital's legal liability. Thus, the strict rules. While again, I think people are too sensitive and some of the rules too restrictive, they unquestionably work and work well. Perhaps the admins here would want to check out the org's terms of service agreement and think of adapting something similar in the future. Some key points of that agreement are: 1) Absolutely NO public criticism of the site's moderators. If you disagree with them, take it to email so as not to impugn their integrity in front of the whole group. 2) Any and all personal conflicts should immediately be taken private, and at NO time are the contents of private messages or emails EVER to be published at the site or even mentioned in a posting at the site. What is private remains private and has no business coming out at the site. 3) NO criticism of or flaming of any forum member is allowed. The site is intended to serve as a place for support and information, and no negative posts are allowed.

Pollyanna? You bet it is, and, as I said, I don't agree with much of it. However, it is their ball, and they can take it and go home anytime they want, so if you want to play with it, you either agree to their terms, or you go find another ball. Perhaps it is time to think about codifying things here.

My two cents worth. Flame away.

Wolverinefan2
Brad
(wolverinefan2@yahoo.com)

I think it is time for another group hug!

Come on... let's remember why we are here... to give and receive support and medical knowledge to kick AS! We are a very diverse group here, but I think that is what makes this place so special... if we were all the same in the world...what a boring place this would be!

I think the advice given awhile ago is very important... if you don't like someone or their opinions...just don't read their posts. You never know how they are feeling that day either... maybe it is just a bad pain day for them... let's be sensitive to all here who suffer from this disease...

So, anyone want to join me for that hug???????? Please?




Kiss my AS, Amy

I'd HUG you Amy but then I ((((HUG)))) all the women here. OK ((((HUGS)))) for the women and Hand Shakes for the men. I'm in.

John

Got to be FAST my Friend. Women don't always asked to be Hugged.

John

Yipppppeeeeee! I have one taker!




Kiss my AS, Amy

But John I wanted a a big old bear hug.... Not much fun shaking paws....
Mike

ok, I'll take a hug and 2 shakes.... to go please

Doug

well then, ya better start huggin..... training camp is just round the corner!

Doug