Kickas.org Forums Ankylosing Spondylitis General Discussion #1 AS Web Support Group I am delusional!

So, my therapist sent me to vocational rehab, which sent me to SSDI. I applied for all of it, like a totally compliant patient. Then for the last two weeks I've been in a nasty mood because of THE LIST that is generated with all the ILLNESSES. At some point during our monthly session yesterday she said "You're delusional about your health! You have a huge cognitive distortion. You believe that if you do everything exactly right that you will be well and pain free." and actually got a bit cranky with me. Well, that brought me up short, but then I started writing things down. I got home last night and asked my hubs if he agreed with her, and he was hesitant to answer. But then he said "yes, I believe that you believe that if you exercise, eat, medicate, exactly right that you'll be well and pain free". So, I got up this morning and looked up COGNITIVE DISTORTION, which lead me to MAGICAL THINKING, which led me to this really cool website for online CBT exercises. SOOOOOO cool! My new deal with myself is to spend my coffee drinking time each morning doing these exercises.

Excel at Life is the site I'm using.

Any comments?

Wait,
I'm lost. Your therapist thinks you are delusional because you have been dx'd with these diseases?

((Erica)) I understand completely. I never had anyone use that term but there was a time that I thought if I did everything just right that I would be well. I exercised like a fiend, ate all of the right things, took all of the right meds, rested on schedule, etc. until I came to terms with the fact that I "have" these diseases and they aren't going away. I do believe that we can keep them from having such an impact on us but there is no magical cure.

Hugs and Blessings.
Possi

I get it...we are all delusional...because all want to wake up feeling good again!...No pain...I have thought it was possible too but not likely....

thanks for the reminder....But delusional is a pretty big judgement in our culture.

Erica,
I do the same thing you do I guess, but I call it hope. If I didn't think I could get better things would be really bad for me. I read of success stories from "autoimmune diseases" and I believe the people that write the testimonials, they have nothing to gain in most cases, they just want to help. I beleive the the NSD helped alot of folks here and the Gerson Therapy is helping me get out of wretched pain and off my low dose prednisone. I think the body can heal itself. I also think we put so many toxins into our bodies that we are slowly poisoning ourselves. I think accepting some things that happen to us is important and helps with coping. But to me there are things that make no sense, like autoimmune diseases. When I watch the Gerson Miracle(documentary free on hulu.com), the dr says cancer and degenerative diseases are casued by toxicity and vitamin defiency. The cancer patients have a toxic liver and the other sick patients have a liver that is sick and not functioning properly. When you cut your finger, it heals, our bodies want to heal, but we keep ingesting toxic junk food and don't eat enough vitamins from fresh fruits and vegetables. For now, I'm going to keep fighting and getting better,I beleive its possible. I think your therapist is trying to help and make it easier, but I'm sure she does not have a chronic disease and is not in chronic pain everyday. Hope you have a good night, I think your great and I like your posts

I would have given doc a big hug. You however were wiser and made the wonderful connection from COGNITIVE DISTORTION to MAGICAL THINKING. Personally I aim for what your DOc calls cognitive distortion. My personal mantra for years of success in fighting AS is deny, deny, deny.

Despite the evidence from the screw and meatl detector alarms I will be healthy and am invincible if I proceed as such. Eat well, exercise when possible and keep denying any setback. I do not suffer from cognitive distortion I seek out as my pinnacle acheivement cognitive annihilation.

I cannot be healthy if I do not believe I can be. If I strive for health (impossible as it may seem from all the evidence to the real world) I will achieve the most I can.

I;m glad you found your exercises and are a magical thinker.

Wow, I am so impressed that you have an open mind about this and are open to learning techniques for healing. I think sometimes, ah, often, therapists have such a love for the jargon of their profession. I don't like all the words they use to describe things, I used to work in the mental health field. I hope it was not too hard to hear what the therapist and your husband thought. Speaking for myself, I imagine if I eat zero starch and do yoga every day and stay calm and centered that somehow maybe I'll go into full remission and be one of those, "I have NO AS SYMPTOMS" people I read about from time to time. Instead I struggle with balance, accepting what is going on with me with grace, trying still to be hopeful I will improve, feeling grateful I am as well as I am, and trying not to fret about the future. Awesome book: How to Be Sick by Toni Bernhard. Thanks for sharing the exercises, I'll check them out. xo

Jan, you have such a good way with words. That was exactly what I was trying to address in my posts. I think it was just a word thing. I still struggle with the balance but I have finally quit "trying" so hard. What you described is what I was thinking....acceptance.

Thanks.
Possi

You have exactly what is being dealt with. Yes, you know, I try anything any one suggests, we all are just looking for that moment that is pain free. We are all looking for just a moment of freedom from pain , your post is so perfectly stated.
I don't want to give direction to you, I mean, this is a support group , and I am here to give support and so get the support back, but I think maybe a psychiatrist that deals with just pain related dopamine problems might be better emotionally and psychically and those two walk hand in hand.

I have always believed that if I run far enough, and long enough that the arthritis will go away. I keep running, and right now I do not have much pain. I still take a low dose of meloxicam every day, and I try to stay away from some starch foods. I think it is a good thing to think that you can beat this, and try to do everything right.