Kickas.org Forums Ankylosing Spondylitis General Discussion Friends and Family Support Group My husband is done taking care of me!

I thought things were better with a trip to California. I guess not. Hang in there, girl. Hope the Sacramento thing works out. If you want it to. It would make it tough to change doctors wouldn't it? Or can you drive back and forth? I guess this makes more questions than answers. Hugs to you, Pea.

Pea,
You know what is good, what is pure and what is right,keep your sense of direction, no matter what he says or does..

when you can, isolate his junk, knowing that you are the person you can take care of.. not him.

we love ya, and wish he would get some help..

Sometimes I wish I was a Mormon Pea, if I could have had more wifes than one, I'd take you in a heartbeat

(Pun intended Lon)

So sorry to see this. I wish I could do more than offer a hand but that's all I've got, well a hand and a shoulder ... Ok and one bum foot but I can still kick someone in the can with it so that's always an option.

Just going for a cheap giggle, hope it worked and I hope your circumstances improve all the way around.

Thanks, all of you. He got a call that the job got offered to someone else. Someone local. Then he got a call from Boeing up her looking for contract work and then a call from someone else up here to work in techie city, Redmond. It wouldn't make any change for me to stay anywhere up here.

No Rumble, all of my Dr.s are at least an hour and a half away except for EMDR therapist and eye Dr. but I'm thankful they are only 40 minutes away in the next town.

Lon, my mantra is "I am a child of God". Reading the new follow-up book to "Boundries" is doing me some good. New therapist is too. She is a recovered alcoholic and I hope it will do him some good. He can relate to her in that way. She is very empathetic with me as well. She has lower back problems and a lot of patients with pain issues.

Gilth, what a sweet thing to say but you have enough on your plate with your health. I am an oldtimer with this disease and pretty tore up with it and Fibro but that was very kind. At least you understand and that is important to me.

LuvinLife, I love me some humor! Are you kidding, this girl might be in the nasty wet cold Pacific Northwest by I am a heartland girl from Kansas. Humor we do! Thanks for your reaching out. That is what this board is about.

He is slowly revealing everything! I think he might be reaching his bottom. Proof is in the pudding, as they say. I have no idea how to fix what he has done between my relationships with my daughter and son though.

I've never heard of Manchausen's disease til now, just looked it up. I haven't had the same situation at all but somewhat similar. Growing up I was always told I was a hypochondriac, that I was pretending to be sick or I was overexaggerating. Because I was told it so much I started to believe it somewhat so even if I was feeling terrible a little part of me always thought "Am I faking this somehow? Am I just making this up?"

Even now after getting diagnosed with AS I'm still a bit weary of telling people, I've only really told my family. I still try and let on that I'm just a touch stiff or tired. It's kind of hard to explain how so many little problems add up to one big problem doesn't it? I still kinda feel even if I explain to my friends that they just wouldn't get it, they wouldn't see the full impact of it. Sorry to hear your husband doesn't get it. Hopefully he'll come to understand just because he can't see the effects of your ailment doesn't mean it isn't there.

So sorry Ark that you had something similar thrown at you. It hurts when nobody believes you because you have an invisible disease. So sad. I give family and friends a page from the Spodylitis Asso. where it list the complications and I give them a little book called "But You Look Good" If they have questions, I answer them.

Thank you for sharing such a hard thing. I am glad you found the board where you know you will fit in and won't have to hide anything. We are all here for each other.

You don't know me one little wink, but I just wanted to say that I'm so sorry you are going through this VERY difficult time. There have been times I would swear my husband thinks I'm a hypochondriac,,,,,he says no, but with as many doctors as I've visited without anything concrete, I wouldn't blame him. BUT, and here's the important part,,,,he's never been cruel. Sometimes we can't help how we feel,,,,,,but we CAN help what we do and say and how we hurt people. I think I'd tell him (as calmly as I can) "you really hurt me when you are so cruel.No one deserves to be treated that way." and then turn and walk away. It might not help,,,,,but it can't hurt.

I am also a crafter,,,,,,a card maker. And I know how much joy getting all crafty and playing with paper and lace and ribbon and flowers gives me,,,,,,,sometimes when I hurt too much to sit at my craft desk, I will gather up a few supplies and go sit on my bed and do something small,,,,,make some paper flowers,,,,,or work on a simple card. So, if you can,,,,,gather a few things,,,,,,,and do your crafty stuff in your room, as much as is possible.

Hugs!!!!!! I hope he has a change of heart soon,,,,,,for that's what he needs. He's changed his mind several times with seemingly no effect. What he needs is a change of HEART.

I'll pray for him,,,,,,,AND for you

Holly

Pea, I don't see how your husband can think you're a hypocondriac when you have very concrete proof of your disease and have a fully fused C-spine... I'm afraid my GF will dump me if my condition gets worse. Hang in there.

Thank you guys. I read that it happens a lot. Men have the highest numbers of leaving their sick wives then women leaving their sick husbands.

Being a hypocondriac is one thing but having Munchhausens is another. I told him that I want a legal separation and he is really mean. Doesn't think we need anything done legally because it will cost money.

Right now I am in Fibro hell. The weather changes so much here that it really affects me. I am to the point where I just want to die. I really can't handle the pain anymore. Too late to leave as I am bedridden. It is horrible. He tell's me now after being disabled that he wants me to go back to work, that plenty of ill people work. I haven't slept in night's and cry at night from the pain. He is just mean and lashing out.

It is all overwhelming.