Kickas.org Forums Ankylosing Spondylitis General Discussion #1 AS Web Support Group Illness, Depression, Anxiety, Suicidal Thinking

i couldn't agree more!

and, wow! 20%! that's a lot of people!


i know of other topics that were "taboo" to talk about, til someone famous spoke out. now they are accepted topics of discussion.

sounds like that's what has to happen with suicide / suicidal thoughts. not necessarily having a famous person championing it, but rather making it an accepted topic of discussion. as it sounds like, from what you are saying, not talking about it, is the biggest risk factor, to it changing from a thought, to an action.

EXACTLY!!! I talked to my doctor about it, and told her that female physicians are in one of the highest risk groups to die of it - and she said "I didn't know that, but when I get suicidal thoughts I know I'm doing WAY too much" !!!! WHAT?!?! Shouldn't medical schools HAVE to tell the students that they are more likely to die of it than most other accidents or illnesses?

Bizarre this whole societal taboo. The taboo-izing of it started as a land grab by the Christian church. (other Christians, don't get mad at me - it's just the truth) "In 305AD, the Council of Guadix purged from the list of martyrs all who had died by their own hand. Using the pretext of piety, the 348AD Council of Carthage condemned those who had chosen self death for personal reasons and the 363AD Council of Braga condemned and denied proper burial rites for all known suicides." as per The Crouch Foundation

Good point, Erica! I will look into QPR some more.

Check this out~

Here's the LINK to take Gatekeeper QPR Training online. Use the discount code QPRO, that's the one the institute gave me.

The NAMI president and I have both taken the online course. It's short, about an hour, and gives you 3 years access to the information.

It's called Gatekeeper training, but given the fact that 1 in 5 people suffer suicidal thinking at some poing, that makes the other 80% Gatekeepers.

I wish that somehow all the stereotypical thinking about endogenous depression and suicidal ideation could be swept away.

Far too many die of ignorance, when they and those around them believe that clinical depression is somehow a sign of being "weak" or "evil" or something we can just snap ourselves out of if we really want to.

Some of the strongest and morally best men I've ever known have taken their own lives.

Everyone needs to be made to understand that we did not bring this on ourselves; we can no more "clap our hands, believe in faeries,and make depression go away with happy thoughts, unicorns and rainbows" than we could do so with a stroke or a heart attack or an agressive form of cancer, because clinical depression is every bit as physical as those maladies and just as potentially deadly.

It is so prevalent among AS sufferers because of a simple fact: chronic moderate to severe pain alters our brain chemistry, sometimes permanently, whether we want it to or not. And we cannot wish away or pray away or will away that change. Medical science is more likely to be able to get us to regrow amputated limbs than to be able to arrest that chemical change.

Antidepressants DO reverse that change. There is no shame in taking them. Anyone who tries to persuade you otherwise is an (probably well-intended) idiot. If the first one doesn't work keep trying. There are hundreds of possibilities available to you and your doctor. One of them will work for you.

I send hugs to all of you who volunteer to talk to those contemplating suicide. You do a world of good. Let's work together to remove the shame.

Shalom,

John

john,

good to see you again

thanks for sharing that important message

Ditto!!

Erika, thank you for this. Talking openly is the only way to dispell the myths about mental illness. I wish everyone with mental illness had the courage to be open about it, and that everyone whose family had been touched by it had that courage. Lack of that courage has torn my family apart.

We were blind-sided by my sister's suicide attempt, and by other revelations surrounding mental illness (not hers). We didn't know what to do, what to think, how to react. Unfortunately, my sister chose to accuse us of being prejudiced against people with mental illness, when really, we were trying to understand. Had she talked to us, been honest with us about all of it (not only her own, but the other touching our lives) we would have been able to help more, perhaps. Instead, we scrambled because of her fear of our reactions if she were honest with us.

Had she been honest with us, she would have been surprised at the amount of depression in our family. She would have heard about my own struggles with it, my aunt's, my cousins'. She didn't learn about any of this until after her attempt. Had she been open, she might have been surprised at our reactions to the other mental illness touching our lives. Our family talks about things. We embrace and we try to learn about people before judging them. The whole family talks about things. My sister didn't want the family talking about her depression or the other mental illness. So, she kept it secret, hidden.

Part of the education must be that if people living with mental illness want attitudes to change, they must be open. The public cannot be expected to learn not to fear or be prejudiced if the people living with mental illness lack the courage of their convictions and hide it. That's asking a lot, I know. But it's baby steps, right? Education can be a slow process and not everyone will learn at the same pace.

In the meantime, your courage, your conviction that we must be open, your willingness to talk is wonderful and I know, will help.

Love and hugs,

kat,

a few things you said here, really struck a chord.

not just depression, but anything that seems "embarrassing" to share: a few times in my life, i was so embarrassed to share something, a "secret". but when i did, each time i told someone, that someone shared a similar story. and soon, one realizes she or he is not alone, that what we have experienced is common and shared by many others. and i've found that each time i shared, it became less embarrassing and i always found i had nothing to be ashamed of. sharing, IMHO is so important.

on the other side, its so important that when others share with us, that we treat them kindly, and don't use their words against them, so that they are more willing, not less willing to continue to share.

thanks kat!

Beloved,

The pain I had nearly 50 years ago, caused me to "be different"; by that I mean over react in goffyness, desire not to be honest, yet, at times so honest it was not accepted. Many times our pain is not / was not explainable... so it made me different. Part of depression for me was to "transfer" thoughts and feelings that were just not appropriate. When we are depressed, we can not and do not expect meaningful or appropriate things from some people.

"kat's" sister may not have been able to do anything different. At least at that time. Now we know more, and with careful intelligent help, appropriate meds, many people, some of us are able to function at a very high level.

I spend my days trying to lead people to a higher calling, if you will. but I have also settle on the opinion that most people could be livewith much more satisfaction if they were willing to be led. We all need a shepherd.

This is good stuff. We are made stronger when we can focus on our strengths and give our weaknesses only the correct amount of attention.

I choose life, abundant life and it is quite a ride!

I love this place!
Lon