Kickas.org Forums Treatments, Drugs and Alternatives NSD and diet-related; Snacks etc

Also, you might need to cut out the cucumber seeds. If you cut the seeds open and test with iodine, they go black.... Yep, it is bit of a minefield out there... I hope you can knock this flare quickly.

I'm not sure why i flared. Oh well, I'll keep fighting and see what happens

That's a good attitude. I'm sure reading all the responses could be somewhat confusing.

I think you have to have a degree of confidence in the food you put in your body. It may not have even been something you consumed that caused you to flare.

Just got in a real heated argument with my sister and mum. They calling me a fussy eater, calling me obsessed testing everything, complaining about my weight, telling me to go on anti depressants claiming that im just depressed (im clearly not but no matter what i tell them they dont believe me). My sister said that her friend has a broken back and he still goes out and is happy. She thinks that a broken back is worse than AS, they're just clueless. My mum keeps telling me all this crap about when she had a really "bad" back. They have no idea. I got really fired up and pushed my sister off the chair she was sitting on and through something at my mum. I'm not proud of that but nothing i say gets through to them. I was in tears. They dont understand the pain. They say i have problems. This stress right now is definately making me feel worse. I know the diet will help me get better, im sure of it. Ive seen results. Im in a pretty bad state right now. I feel embaressed dumping this on all of you wonderful people but i just dont know who else to tell. I had to get this out otherwise the anger would just keep building up.

hey seb, maybe you should convince you mom and sister to join and read this forum. Maybe it will help them understand you.

and be sure, even if your mum has now other opinion than you - she sure wishes you all the good in the world. so you should try talk to her and arrive at an agreement togheter.


PS. still waiting for answers for those questions i've asked you earlier.

hey seb

that really sucks. it is super difficult to do the NSD anyway let alone without the support of your family. i think alinus is right that maybe if they came on here and talked to some other people who know about the disease and have had success with the diet (someone like Kiwi) then it might help them understand. i'm no stranger to injury but nothing i've ever done has even come close to the pain of a good AS flare including falling through a window and slicing half my calf muscle in half. because people can't see any obvious kind of injury they assume that can't be that bad when really its one of the worst kinds of pain.

i hope you can get your family on board with the diet. good luck.

Morning Seb

So sorry to hear about your family row. That's pretty stressful for you, hon.

Just a few thoughts on the matter...

Sometimes if you are not getting through to someone about something, it's time to stop, think and try a different approach to the situation.

1. You could try not getting into a confrontational situation with your family but instead just start "planting a few seeds" for them to think about.

Eg. If your sister moans that you are lazy and not helping enough - you could reasonably point out how much you love your sport and you would not have stopped doing that for no good reason. Then leave it at that.

Another eg. If your mum is worried about you being a fussy eater - again point out that you have given up some of your favourite foods to help your AS and would not do that if it was not helping. Walk away and let this sink in with her.

2. If this gentle and reasonable approach does not work, then maybe it's time for some "shock tactics".

Using the broken back situation as an example, lay it out for them something like this:

A broken back will heal up and get better.
AS has no cure.
I have a choice of taking medications which have serious side effects that can seriously damage my health or I can commit to this diet which I know is helping me and has no such side effects.
If I do not do anything to reduce my inflammation and pain, over time my spine could start fusing together.
The pain is an arthritic pain and is agonisingly painful, even if you can't see it.
I need to give this diet more time to see if it works.
I need your help and support to give it my best shot.
If it does not work, I will try something else.

They are just some ideas - you can say whatever is true for you in your own way.

**** **** **** ****

If your family are aware of all the facts then there could be another explanation for their behaviour at the moment. Such as:

1. Denial - when you get bad news about someone you love, sometimes you don't want to hear it or believe it's true so you get angry at that person instead. They may need more time to get their heads around it.

2. Fear - they may have accepted what is wrong with you but are frightened for you and what is going to happen in the future. (I'm sure your parents must be devastated by the news, Seb. I'm a mother of 3 little one's - if they cut themselves my blood runs cold and I think I am going to have a heart attack).

This is hard on all of you, don't under estimate how worried you family are - they may show it in anger rather than by giving you a nice hug until they come to terms with it properly.

When I was a kid if I hurt myself my Dad would always shout at me not to be so stupid! I used to think thanks a bunch! I'm hurt and you are not comforting me but bellowing at me. Of course it was because he was worried and that is how it came out!

You have to work through your own hurt and anger too, Seb. It is not fair. It's not! There is no cure for AS and it sucks. You will get your head round it and I am crossing everything for you, that the diet works. Hang on in there, sweetie and never feel embarrassed about anything you think or feel - you won't be the first to have negative thoughts or hit out as a result of this disease.

Hope all this rambling is of some help or comfort to you. I'm sure you have calmed down and are feeling much better anyway.

Lots of love, Tink xxx

Thanks Jroc,
Thats a perfect way of describing the pain.

Thanks Tink,

Your post has helped me heaps. I've calmed down alot now. Even though i'm now calm and try getting through to my mum and sister. It just doesn't work. It never will. They are not nice people. The only person i love in my family is my dad. He understands everything, he's so supportive of me in every way, including the diet. He's the nicest person in the world.

I have some big problems to deal with at the moment. My dad is on the verge of breaking up with my mum. It's tough. As bad as it sounds, i don't blame him. I guess its the way my mum was brought up that makes her like she is. My dad earns all the money in the family and if he leaves, i'm screwed. I'll be off the NSD thats for sure. I gotta keep positive though.

Alinus,
I'll reply when i can think properly. sorry

Hi Seb,

Oh I feel for you buddy!

Am too tired right now to write anything coherent, but just wanted to say "listen to what Aunty Tinks said - I'm with her on this one!"

Got some other stuff to say tomorrow...

Hang in there - you're not alone - this journey sucks, no matter which path you take...

Hello Seb
Bad as the situation is, I am not surprised by your explanation about what's going on at home. I keep thinking there seems more to it.
I don't know your family at all and would never comment about anything so personal and complex as someone's family set up.

What I will say is, that if your parents are splitting up this could go a long way to explaining how sensitive and inconsistant your AS flares are. Even if you do not think you are stressed out (or maybe you do) you are physically and emotionally under an enormous amount of stress living in that situation. Especially if you are not close with your sister.

You are such a strong person Seb, you are going to be OK, you are coping so well with your AS. You are so young and to have your family in jeapody as well I think you are amazing.

You never know what the future holds. Life can surprise you. Good things can still come out of bad.

Try to look after yourself - letting off steam on here is a great way to make sure you don't bottle anything up.

Remember there is a male only forum you can join if you want to talk to the boys in private. And you can PM me or anyone else any old time you like. Here is a good place to get lots of different views and lots of support though.

Chat again later,
"Auntie" Tink!

I like that, Louise!!