Kickas.org Forums Ankylosing Spondylitis General Discussion #1 AS Web Support Group Mom's Dying

Hi Ankush...Houston is only a couple of hours away and I would love to come meet with you, it would be great if we could join up with others that are in the south...

Please let me know if there is anything at all we can do for you Michelle. I thought about you all weekend....my heart hurts for you.

Oh thank you so much Sarah...but I don't think there's anything that can be done that yall aren't already doing, the love and support from all of you has carried me a long, long way....

Well, if something pops up, you know how to reach me! Love you!!!!!

XOXOXOXOX

Michelle, when I read you were having difficulty making yourself get ready for the service on Saturday, my heart went out to you. It truly is surreal, I know. When my dad died (18 years on November 7 - he was 75) I think we all went into auto-pilot. I remember the days immediately after, as we had so much to do. The two weeks I took off work, however, are another matter. I have very little memory of them, except of being curled up in a corner of my couch, in a very dark room.

After all these years, I can finally think about my dad without wanting to immediately burst into tears. That happened at some point in the last 4 or 5 years, I think. Now, there is sadness, and I still miss him, but there is peace and a great deal of love. I know that his soul is free to explore the universe, be anything and anywhere it wants to be, no longer tied to a body that was failing increasingly quickly from his diabetes. As much as I would like him to have met his grand-daughters and my sweetheart, knowing my dad's spirit, he's doing exactly what he wants. That's good enough for me.

One day, it may be enough for you, too.

Love and hugs,

It's strange, yesterday I was all wrapped up in a movie and without thinking, I picked up the phone to call Mom.... My Mother was a lady in the literal sense and I just try to picture her in her mansion in Heaven....

I have to tell you all a story, take from it want you wish, I won't try to sway your reaction....before I can begin the story though, I have to give you a couple of facts that will play a part...1.)My Mother was the love of my Father's life. 2.) My Mother and Father were polar opposites. 3.) My Mother was very prim and proper and she had a habit of correcting my Father quite often on the pronunciations of certain words, if he said herb and pronounced the 'h' she would correct him and say "it's pronounced erb, Bill, the h is silent", well, when I was a teen, Mom was accidently knocked off the back of our boat during Contraband Days and she looked up at Dad and said, "Help" and he took the opportunity to say, "Don't you mean elp?" 4.) needless to say, my Mother didn't always appreciate my Father's wonderful sense of humor....so here goes...

Mom's funeral service was lovely but at the very end of it the pastor made a HUGE faux pas...he was saying that everyone that met my Mother would agree that she was a wonderful and kind lady and that she touched the lives of those around her and he was sure that everyone that had the luxury of meeting her would certainly agree that their lives were all the more bitter for having met her.... Of course he immediately recovered, apologized profusely and then repeatedly assured us that he meant to say 'better' not 'bitter'....On his way out of the church, Dad handed the pastor a hefty check and said...."just a little donation for such a perfect service.".....

Yah, I know that feeling. There were so many times over the years when my first thought was to call Dad and tell him something. These days, I don't have the impulse to call him, but I still have many times when I know he would enjoy something and I sort of send the thought 'out' to him.

I like that image of your mom in a mansion in heaven.

Love and hugs,

Thats really good Michelle there the sorts of things you will remember. I can just see your mum looking down and saying typical.
Kevin