Kickas.org Forums Ankylosing Spondylitis General Discussion #1 AS Web Support Group husband is losing job

Oh I just saw the thing about high school, scratch that then.

Also why can't they get the tuition from your job? Here, as I said, everyone gets free tuition for them, their kids and their spouse. Even the buildings and grounds staff get the education help. I would talk to the school and see what you can work out.

I'm really sorry to hear about your situation. That does sound frightening and totally infuriating. I thought I would write something about how I could relate to a career loss but when I see how this affects your entire family in such a direct way, I am simply shocked.

It reminds of me of everything I hated about academia. I was one of those students who was expected to come back to my department as faculty one day and a few of my friends have gone that route and teach at colleges here in BC. The internal politics and butt-licking discouraged me enough to want to join the military. I thought I would find the last vestiges of honour in the forces, a place where MERIT counted for more than sucking up to your boss. Ooops, that turned out to be one of those "out of the frying pan and into the fire" scenarios.

I feel badly for your kids especially, since the last thing they need as they near the end of their studies is the kind of fear and uncertainty a development like this brings.

Hopefully, this will become one of those things that you and your family will all look back on some day and realize that these events actually turned out to be a good thing in the end? I feel like an idiot saying something like this to someone who is going through such challenges but I really hope this becomes a catalyst for change that leads to great things.

It really does suck and I'm sorry it's happening to you and your family.

Chris

Since I'm part time, I don't get the free tution benefit for myself or the kids. They get it through my husband's position.

Karen

Academia, the military, industry-there's ugliness everywhere.

Maybe someday we'll look back on this and see the good, but it's hard to see it right now.

Karen

Sheesh, Lisa! You and Bill are in a tough bind yourselves. He's overqualified for some jobs and underqualified for others.

I do hope he can find a job without so much travel. Having a parent away that much is hard on a family.

Karen

some more thoughts after reading everyone's posts.......

i don't know if its the number of years of training (4 years of college, 4-6 or more of grad school, 1-10 years of postdoctoral positions depending on the field, possibly years in nontenure track teaching positions, 6 years of pretenure or more if you move before tenure or give it up to go to another school) or the relatively low pay (i know its all relative, but the pay does not correspond with the amount of education by a long shot. i always tell people, if i wanted to make a lot of money, i certainly wouldn't go into teaching), or the long hours (probably about 60 hours a week or more as a grad student or postdoc, and probably about 80 hours of week in a tenure track faculty position), and this might sound like "poor me" but its just listing the facts really, some of us are just crazy enough to enjoy this way of life......

but academia isn't "just a job" and i think its all those things combined that make not getting tenure feel like a real kick in the stomach, especially when the reasons appear very unfair and very political, not because one didn't do a good job, but because certain people (with power) decide they don't like you and don't want you around. the criteria can be vague enough that they can spin it however they like.

karen, i am truly sorry, and it really sucks.
if there is anything i can do to help..........

sue

Karen

I am so sorry to hear about the stresses in your life right now. Losing a job and possible moving sucks in every way possible. My thoughts and prayers are with you through this terrible time

Kylie

Sue,
Yes, it's tons of eduction and very low pay. My kids got reduced price lunches at school until I started working part-time.

It feels like a real kick in the stomach. There is something terribly, terribly wrong with the system.

But my husband still loves teaching.

Karen

Kylie,
Yes, it sucks big time. Thanks for understanding.

Karen

Hey Girl,

Yea ALOT of things have been sucking lately...lol

I have just tried to learn not to get to down because when you think it is just bad enough it usually gets worse (for us)

I know a ton of people are going thru the same thing only alot of people are losing their homes, cars, savings and alot of people start blaming the other one and it leads to divorce.

I can say for Bill and I we are stuck with each other and I wouldnt have it any other way and Im thinkin you and your husband feel the same.

Alot of times it is hard to try and find some good things when things seem so bad but I look at my kids and grands and think God thank you for my family basically being healthy THAT is a blessing in itself.

As long as you have your husband and your kiddos you guys can make it thru anything, might be tough but what do you have if you dont have your family for me it would be nothing.

Somehow I just know something good will happen for you guys, you are so sweet and caring and I imagine your husband is to and Im hoping some possibilities will open up for him.

You guys have and will stay in my thoughts and prayers.

Big Hugs,

Lisa