Kickas.org Forums Ankylosing Spondylitis General Discussion #1 AS Web Support Group Depression, BAD; is there any hope?

HI Debbie,

Been there myself... required to be checked into hospital my depression was so bad at one point. But things turned around, found answers that worked for me and today I am doing fine.

Take one day at a time... do what you can and build upon that.

Tim

Debbie,
I'm sorry you are feeling so bad right now. Please know that you are not alone. Each and everyone of us have felt what you are going through, not that it makes you feel better, but at least you have us to talk to about it. Unfortunately depression is a part of AS and any other chronic deseases. It is a constant rollercoaster ride of emotions. The only thing that snaps me out of it is that when I am in a low point I remind myself it is only temporary and right down any possitives in my life, I know they are hard to find, and it makes the low periods shorter. It's a vicious cycle you can't break, it is the normal for us. Pain and disability cause depression as well as meds. I went through the darkest period of my life last year when I started with what I thought would be a quick fix on my R. knee. I ended up with 3 major surgeries and over a year of rehab. Not bad? Combine that with the fact that I am a very independent person who has had to depend on others for help, ( I'm always the one helping others). I then lost my job and crawled into that familiar deep dark hole. I crashed, and had no one. I wish I would have come to this site before last week. Please know that you are not alone. Find something, anything, that puts a smile on your face everyday and you will get through this. Like this graemlins
Hope today is better
Cindy

Debbie,

I am sorry to hear that you are suffering with depression. I have had bouts of depression. I can relate to what you are saying, the lack of energy, the lack of wanting to clean the house, the weight gain and so on. Pain and not being able to do what you used to do years ago can cause anyone to get depressed.

I am not sure what Effexor is for, depression or HBP? Are you on any meds for ddepression? I have tried a couple of meds and had good results with Lexapro.

If I may suggest you talking to your doc. You have to be blunt and to the point with your doc. He may give you a test to see if indeed you suffer from clinical depression, be honest with your answers.

I can tell you that it will take awhile for the meds to kick in and if you don't feel like they are helping the doc may need to adjust the dose. So don't throw in the towel thinking the med isn't going to work. It may take you trying a couple different meds before you can see a difference. So be honest with your self and your doc if you don't feel a differnce.

I know it is another pill to swallow, but if it is going to help you and you are going to get your life back in a sense, then do what it takes.

If you want to talk please PM me. I am just a phone call away.

Hugs,
Cara

hi
i am so sorry to hear u r feeling like this, i know the feeling and its so horrible, feels like the pits of despair. i cannot find hardly anything to drag me out of it, but it does pass, i do agree with the others regarding asking for help from ur dr to help u out.
i get terribly depressed when i am in pain for a start. it only adds to the depression when i cant clean my house (i cant stand living in it untidy messy it starts to feel dirty, and i cant stand that) i get even more depressed if i start putting on weight, get even more depressed cus i should b able to do things and cant, i too am very idendant and really hate havin to have things done for me.
i am on antidepressants anyway , have been on them the last 7 years. but i think my body is used to them now and thats y i can get so badly depressed, or at least i dread to think what it would b like without them. i have steroid epidurals, which can cause mood swings and depression i think this may b a little different to the steroid tablets u r on tho, i also know that most of my meds can cause mood changes too, it can b a bit a bit of a vicious circle, i suspect many of ur meds can cause this too, but in answer to ur post YES THERE IS HOPE. pls if u r feelin this bad go and see ur dr and talk it over with him u may just need something to help u over it. dont be worried about what he will think, it doesnt make u mental or insane at all, it makes u human cus what we have to put up with AS is one hell of a lot. also u have found us here and we will try and help u thru it as best we can, believe me i posted here a few weeks back cus i was in the pits of despair and there people here were wonderful.
keep in touch and take care
heather

hi
oops i have such a terribel memory at the mo, i meant to mention i am on carbamazapine for nerve pain, it is also prescribed as a mood stabliser too. it could b in my head but when i take this it does stop the moods from swinging so bad. there r many other meds that r used this way too.
all the best of luck hope to hear from u again soon, u r in my thoughts.
heather

Debbie,

I want to answer your post but I am not feeling well, I am going to lay down just a bit before the kids come home from school, I promise I will answer you tonight.

Keep your chin up,

Lisa

Ther are periods where AS and its pains makes us feel useless and mentally exhausted from the notion of another dya of pain all over, these days pass. I don't know if you can find a way to get your pain under control. I hurt every blloody day but I am happy despite it.

I suspect if you know your AS you know it will cycle back to a point where it still stinks but it allows you to enjoy some of your life. Believe that. Focus on the good that you can do in a day even if its just rooting on from the sidelines while aching for that 4 year old boy you speak of.

I lose my mind all the time because of the loss of mobiltiy and thus the loss of things I thought I'd one day do. I hate the pains but the joy I get when I see my kids makes me willing to bear under any woes.

I suppose I'm not being so helpful. I just know the depression that this can cause when you feel like nothing is working and I'm rooting for ya'.

HEY DEBBIE!

I am so sorry about your situation. Although I am new to AS, I am not new to past bouts of deep clinical depression.

I have learned that no matter how bad things may seem, nothing is forever! Never lose hope. No one call tell what the future may bring... (Sorry I'm talking in cliches, but it's TRUE!) I remember a time when i was DEEP at the end of my rope, and wanting to give up and things just started changing for me... With the help of my friends I was able to get out of depression. It has now since been a good 5 years, and If you met me now, you would have never guessed what I felt back then.

I guess the gyst of what I'm trying to say is to never give up hope. You never know who or what may come into your life. Remember that you have a family that loves you, (If the situation were to be changed, and a member of your family was going through a tough time, would you have any adversity towards them not being able to do the things they used to?? No. because you love them that much... and you may not be able to totally understand their situation, but you know you would care... and a clean house or (what not) wouldn't matter!

Maybe you can ask your motehr to do an activity that is easier for you to do... like rent movies... or cook! and always try to voice how you feel "I would love to ____, but i feel ____"- suggest an alternative you CAN do.

perhaps (if you don't already)-- you should speak to a professional about how you feel. i truely believe that mental health can influence physical health.

also remember you can always vent here...

sorry, can't answer many of the AS questions, (too new to it).

Amazing!!!
Look at how many people here care!

Emily Dickinson (1830–86). Complete Poems. 1924.

Part One: Life

XXXII

HOPE is the thing with feathers
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all,

And sweetest in the gale is heard;
And sore must be the storm
That could abash the little bird
That kept so many warm.

I ’ve heard it in the chillest land,
And on the strangest sea;
Yet, never, in extremity,
It asked a crumb of me.