This is a good discussion. I have been depressed now for 6 months. I wonder how anyone can live with it day in and day out without help. One thing we did not expect was that my husband would become depressed after his heart attack which the Dr.s said was normal as well. I don't know if mine was all situational with my dad and other family members dying on top of a huge flare and a blindsided hit from my daughter or if was just coming on already and everything else threw the gas on it.

I am quite a cerebral person anyway but this takes it to a whole new level. I have no desire to have fun, no desire to do anything.

I absolutely agree with you Lon. I still have found ministries to participate in even if I am barely functional so I don't give up. People have started to realize that I need them now instead of the other way around and I have more visitors this way. Some of them are dreadfully ill or depressed as well. I don't like to talk about my depression but it helps.

Some days I don't want to pull myself up by the bootstraps and do anything at all but I notice, if I get just a good phone call from someone uplifting, I am up with a dust rag in my hand cleaning. It makes me feel pathetic that I need someone encouraging me all of the time to get things done. I really don't have a lot of people who have the time to do it either as they all work. Depression hurts your heart. It's easy for me to tell my husband that I am needy that day or this day but I can't do it to a friend. I think some how they are figuring this out and coming over and sending cards and calling more.

Now I feel like I am loosing my mother to depression. It has been almost a year now since my father died and she is getting worst instead of better. She lives in Kansas and I am up here in the Seattle area and I call her almost daily. She is very, very good at hiding her emotions. I realized something was wrong when I went into the hospital a week ago and she was angry about it and has never called me to see how I was. After talking to her the other day I got the impression that she completely had forgotten about it. She told me that she went out and bought another new car (Just bought one about 3 months ago) well, she traded it in. Instead of freaking out about it, I asked her if she like it. She said "No, it's too big and the gas mileage is horrible". She then went on to say, "I bought all new furniture, new carpet and had every room repainted and bought these cars to fill up a hole that can't be filled up". Before I could say anything at all, she said "I'm tired and going to bed" click, and hung up! Now on top of my own depression, I am worried about hers. I can't even cry now as I am shutting down to protect myself. Not good either. Yes, I see a therapist and she listens and then out the door I go.

I'm tired of it all. Wish there was a camp to go to for a couple of weeks and work through it all with a bunch of therapist and others going through depression. Sorry I went on and on. Quite cerebral today. Love you guys and thank you for your stories. It helps a lot.

Pea
Diagnosed with A.S. 29 year's ago.
Diagnosed with Fibro 10 year's ago.
Remicade, Intrathecal Pain Pump 2013