Kickas.org Forums Ankylosing Spondylitis General Discussion Friends and Family Support Group Activities for couples when one is disabled

;)My husband and I are trying to brainstorm getting through the wet cold season here when I am in bed so much. We are trying to think of things we can do while I am in bed beside watch tv. He doesn't like to play board or card games. I don't like to play video games. We get Netflix movies every couple of days but other then that???????? Any idea's?

I get really down because we go to bed by 7:00-7:30 and he wants to go with me. He is the only person I see all week. I know he gets disappointed that we don't go many places anymore. He really is trying to cope but by the time summer rolls around, which is August here, we are both cabin fevered to the max. Our world has gotten so small. What do you couples do who are this debilitated? Thank's for your help.

We watch silly Youtubes.

We watch TED lectures together.

We watch/listen to music videos.

We read cookbooks together and come up with recipes that we can make.

We watched an entire season of a tv show on youtube (20 minute segments at a time; beat paying over $50 for it).

We played scrabble once where you could only use made up words, but they had to sound like real words with the proper balance of consonants and vowels; that was fun.

Look at old photos together?

I had a friend that had dyslexia; reading was a real challenge for her. She loved to have her husband read (fiction) to her.

maybe there is a computer game you both like?

crossword puzzles together?

We read a lot. We cook together. We enjoy friends/family visiting. We play with our dog A LOT.

Since my husband is every much as debilitated as I am with his RA. We don't do much either. I watch a lot of sports with him and have found I enjoy it a lot. He watches certain shows with me even though I am not so sure he enjoys it at all...much less a lot. LOL

Our world has gotten very small also. About the time I think it is really getting to me, one of friends or family shows up.

We also pray together.

Hugs Pea.

Possi

Good job Sue. I think we do some of the same things. You just did a better job verbalizing. We play games with the kids/grands also.

I am Christmas shopping through catalogs and online. I text my grands every day or two to tell them I love them and wish them a good day. Do the same for my daughters just not quite as often.

Hugs.
Possi

When I read Sue's youtube comment, I thought of one thing my husband and I like to do too. We have a youtube song night, we pick out our favorite songs/music videos and watch them together. We alternate, so I'll think of a song or music video and we'll watch it then he will so the same. We have similar taste in music and we can watch music vides for a couple hours easily. I like watching forensics shows ith my guy and we pray together too.
Helping others, like knitting caps for the homeless or knitting baby blakets or if you can't knit make the kind of baby blankets you just cut the ends of the fleece and knot it together for a newborn blanket.The pregnancy shelters gladly receive them for the mothers that live there.They say its the only gift they get on Valentines or other holidays sometimes.
If I can think of something else I'll add to it. Take care.

I say don't rule out video games! There are types of games out there that most people don't realize exist. For instance, there are adventure games that are a lot like playing the lead role in a suspenseful novel. Others are like interactive comedies, for instance we played a Monkey Island game all the way through on the TV at my parents' house and both my parents really enjoyed watching us play because of the excellent voice acting and zany humor.

I have no idea what genres you both would prefer, but here are some examples of video games suitable for adults that are sold at a $6 a piece so wouldn't cost much to try

Animated
Defeat a Templar conspiracy:
https://secure.gog.com/gamecard/broken_sword_directors_cut

Live actors
Supernatural mystery:
https://secure.gog.com/gamecard/gabriel_knight_2_the_beast_within

Mixture of animation and live actors
Humorous fantasy -- I *loved* this one:
http://www.gog.com/gamecard/zork_grand_inquisitor

Reading aloud was a great suggestion too -- my family is a bunch of hard-core readers and that includes reading as a group activity. My mom reads aloud to my dad when he washes non-dishwasher-safe pans each night, and I follow their example whenever possible by getting my sweetie to read to me while I do that chore. Since you're the one feeling lousy, it would make sense for your husband to be the reader. Let him pick something exciting so he won't get bored too quickly.

We do that as well, and especially at christmas time, all kinds of silly songs out there, with equally silly videos to match.

All summer when I couldn't open my eyes, my husband read aloud to me. I love it. He also checks out books on tape for me from the library and we can both listen.

Such good ideas from everyone.

Possi

SJLC,
How cute, reading aloud to each other, that is so sweet. We do that once in awhile but it is more for teaching the kids something and not so much for pleasure, but now that you mention it what a good idea for adults too.
It reminds me of "Little Women" and Jo March reading to her grumpy aunt. I like when I watch old movies and the family gathers around a piano and sings songs together or listens to someone read,its nice.