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Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 1,236
Copper_AS_Kicker
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Copper_AS_Kicker
Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 1,236
Kat, I'm really sorry for you and your sweetie. If he can prove that he earns less, then the courts should lower his payments. Yes, some dads are deadbeat and self-centered and subversive, but not all.


Micki
Mom to 9
Dx'ed Ocular Herpes, Sept. '08
Dx'ed AS May '09, suffering on and off since 1979
Dx'ed Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma May '08, relapse Oct '11
Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 8,397
L
Lon Offline
Very_Addicted_to_AS_Kickin
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Very_Addicted_to_AS_Kickin
L
Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 8,397
Kat,
I have nothing to give except my love and best wishes. And of course the hospitality of my home, should you need it. Like others I would defend you and Brian with locked doors and the need for a search warrent to get in.
`I pray this heart ache will result in a tremendous education for the very dull people making these decisions!

agape'
Lon

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 9,845
Likes: 4
Very_Addicted_to_AS_Kickin
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Very_Addicted_to_AS_Kickin
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 9,845
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Just read this whole thread Kat - phew. Horrific situation. Just hope that suggestions here on KA will help iron out a few wrinkles. Positive thoughts and all good wishes with you and with Brian. Prayers your way for a sensible resolution and for sanity to prevail in the inept minds of those who are throttling correct justice - may sanity prevail.

Many (((HUGS)))

Molly C (France)


MollyC1i - Riding OutAS
Joined: Nov 2001
Posts: 18,139
Likes: 4
Very_Addicted_to_AS_Kickin
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Very_Addicted_to_AS_Kickin
Joined: Nov 2001
Posts: 18,139
Likes: 4
Molly, thank you. KAers have come through for us and, today, we're finally at the point where we can think clearly. You all are the best friends and my sweetheart has been overwhelmed at the support we have received, the messages of love and friendship.

I'm going to rest my brain for a couple of hours.

Love,


Kat

A life lived in fear is a life half lived.
"Strictly Ballroom"

Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 2,105
C
Major_AS_Kicker
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Major_AS_Kicker
C
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 2,105
I'm so glad you reached out to us Kat. Its scary to bare your personal stuff like that, and I admire you for being so honest. You aren't alone in this, and never will be now. XXX

Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 2,717
ironchef
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ironchef
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 2,717
aloha, mig

give Kat all my best.
i can't imagine, but give unconditional support regardless.

pu liki mau, pu liki mau, pu liki mau
aBhumpty


Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 12,465
M
mig Offline OP
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M
Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 12,465
Thanks Ben,

Kat has been popping in when she can, so I am sure that she will find your post and really appreciate your words of support.

Hope you are well!
mig

Joined: Nov 2001
Posts: 18,139
Likes: 4
Very_Addicted_to_AS_Kickin
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Very_Addicted_to_AS_Kickin
Joined: Nov 2001
Posts: 18,139
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Micki, Lonnie, cemc and Ben, thank you.

Brian has tried to show them that he has no money. He's tried motions to vary. They just say he's using the motions to delay paying. They don't want to hear it.

I've never seen him like this. I had to come back to work today, so he's alone at the house. There's no-one I can call to go be with him, not that he'd be accepting of that because he can't face people right now. His son is in basic training, so that's really not an option. He knows his dad is depressed, but he doesn't know how very bad it is. I haven't told him. He's having a hard enough time as it is trying to adapt to life in the army, without his pregnant wife, without being burdened with this, too.

I'm trying to set up a meeting with a lawyer (my mother has said she'll help pay for it) to find out exactly what happens now. Will they back down if he does some of the jail time and still doesn't pay? Will it really go on for the rest of his life or will someone somewhere figure it out?

Hold us in your arms, my friends. My sweetheart is not out of the woods and I have to be here at the office because my job is all that lies between us and ruin. I just heard from him. He's more clear, but still far from coping. This has broken him and he fears it is irreparable.

Love,


Kat

A life lived in fear is a life half lived.
"Strictly Ballroom"

Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 2,105
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Major_AS_Kicker
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Major_AS_Kicker
C
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 2,105
Kat, it must be so hard for you having to go back to work and not being able to be with Brian.

I did think of another tack. Does Brian have anything official that would identify him as "disabled" - any kind of disability benefits, or record of having been on sick leave for chronic condition, etc? I'm thinking that Canada is sure to have some kind of human rights legislation that includes disability?

Where I am going with this is that imprisoning him without taking into account his disability needs is probably a rights issue, and one that some kind of disability advocate could take up for you and make a big stink about.

From a sanity point of view, I also wondering if there are some little tasks that Brian could do during the day when you aren't there that keep giving him a purpose and that move things forward without winding him more into a depressive spiral. Possibly things that help with the case, or that are things that help you or another friend or family member (even if silly or small). Helping him to think beyond himself has got to help stop him sinking into solitary blackness.

Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 833
Ninja_AS_Kicker
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Ninja_AS_Kicker
Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 833
Hi Kat: So sorry to hear you and Brian are going through hell. Follow Winston Churchill's advice, "Keep going!" Wishing you and Brian a positive outcome. Sending lots of hugs for you and Brian...Tom

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