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Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 378
I
Fifth_Degree_AS_Kicker
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Fifth_Degree_AS_Kicker
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I have no words,Erica, none of any use, except I'm thinking of you.

Huge hugs.

Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 1,970
Captain_AS_Kicker
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Erika

I am shocked and saddened by the news. My thoughts are with you and your family.


I can not defeat you but I will not let you win

Jeff

Degenrative disc disease 2005
AS 2008 HLA-B27-
Fibromyalgia 2010
Disability 2012
Back to work part time 2013
Enbrel, Cymbalta,Oxycodone, blah blah blah blah
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 3,865
EricaK Offline OP
Royal_AS_kicker
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Royal_AS_kicker
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Posts: 3,865
Thanks to all of you who have left me your messages with prayers and good wishes. Here's a bio I just wrote today for a new foundation in her name:

"My daughter was 25 yrs, 5 mo, 16 days when she died from depression.

It's been only 27 days since her death. Already her friends have organized a benefit concert in Seattle in her memory, to raise awareness and help NAMI Suicide Prevention and Seattle FRIENDS. Her two favorite Seattle bands, musicians who all know and love her, are playing this show.

A foundation has already been set up by these same friends to raise awareness about mental illness and the dangers of self-medicating with alcohol and/or drugs. There is even talk of a clothing line in the works...

Kaylan played a mean piano and a cool guitar, and loved the outdoors as much as she loved the city of Seattle. She crawled at 18 weeks and walked at 7 months. She learned to ride her bike without training wheels at 3.5 yrs, because she bent them up her ownself with her daddy's vice grips. She played roller hockey. She took beautiful photographs. She sang smooth and haunting harmony. She would only fight when she was afraid or outraged on another's behalf - and could beat up a man twice her size if she had to. She was extremely shy yet exuded confidence. She took her first college class at 11- poetry of course. She was hospitalized for depression at 13. She loved junior high stage productions. She started smoking at 15 and never could quit. She traveled in Europe for 6 months doing volunteer work in 5 different countries at 18. Her dad died when she was 20, and she never recovered from the loss. She appears to have been struggling with an alcohol problem, though she hid that from me very well. She went to Guatemala with her younger brother to study Spanish when they were 18 & 19. She played World of Warcraft. She adored her family - immediate & extended. She achieved her dream of attending the University of Washington linguistics program at age 20, but her depression took that away from her in her senior year. She watched The Young Turks every Tuesday. She suffered with chronic IBS from age 7, and spinal pain from age 18. She worked as a telemarketer, preschool teacher, construction office manager, sandwich artist, and bartender among other jobs. She LOVED children and animals. She was a wonderful cat mama, and her kitties are both very confident, friendly, and like to be kissed on the nose. She was absurdly beautiful inside and out, and I am not just saying so because I'm her mama.

My point in all this is to say that she was not simply a depressed person who took her own life. She was complex, gorgeous, brilliant, talented, delightful, deep, caring, loving, and also suffered from a fatal mental illness exacerbated by alcohol abuse.

Her tragic death was a small part of an actively giving and loving life, a life in which she touched many other souls and inspired them to do the most with what life offered them. I know this because of the many people who have written to me to tell me in detail how exactly she helped them. Almost every one of her close childhood friends came from different cities and states, coworkers from jobs long past, and four of her life loves, past and present, attended her funeral - two from a different state - and three of them sang a song during the service.

Depression robs people of their feeling of worthiness, but it doesn't have to be like that. Mental illness is treatable.

It is an enigma - how could she be so loved, and so helpful to others, yet be unable to ask for help for herself. "


Here are a few photos of my sweet girl smile
KRC

Last edited by EricaK; 02/13/11 04:52 AM. Reason: added photos

ANA+ RF+ Rh- HLAB27+
Dx JRA 1967, GAD 1997, AS 2009, HMs 2010, CPS 2013
pulmonary edema w/ NSAIDS 2009

Movin' it so I don't lose it!

Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 5,231
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What a lovely tribute, Erica. Thanks so much for sharing. She was clearly a very special person. hugss


Wendy

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Methotrexate, Celebrex, Plaquenil
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Very_Addicted_to_AS_Kickin
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erica,

thanks for letting us get to know your daughter. i'm so sorry for your pain and think of you every day. heart

if there is any way that i can contribute to any of the causes being started in her behalf, just let me know. heart



sue

Spondyloarthropathy, HLAB27 negative
Humira (still methylprednisone for flares, just not as often. Aleve if needed, rarely.)
LDN/zanaflex/flector patches over SI/ice
vits C, D. probiotics. hyaluronic acid. CoQ, Mg, Ca, K.
chiro
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Joined: Jun 2010
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EricaK Offline OP
Royal_AS_kicker
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Royal_AS_kicker
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Posts: 3,865
Thanks Sue, I'll PM you the info smile


ANA+ RF+ Rh- HLAB27+
Dx JRA 1967, GAD 1997, AS 2009, HMs 2010, CPS 2013
pulmonary edema w/ NSAIDS 2009

Movin' it so I don't lose it!

Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 21,346
Likes: 1
Very_Addicted_to_AS_Kickin
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Joined: Jan 2008
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thanks smile



sue

Spondyloarthropathy, HLAB27 negative
Humira (still methylprednisone for flares, just not as often. Aleve if needed, rarely.)
LDN/zanaflex/flector patches over SI/ice
vits C, D. probiotics. hyaluronic acid. CoQ, Mg, Ca, K.
chiro
walk, bike
no dairy (casein sensitivity), limited eggs, limited yeast (bread)
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 5,231
Offline
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 5,231
Oh, Erica - the photos are so beautiful they made me cry. I haven't words to say how I feel about this tragedy.


Wendy

Rheumatoid Arthritis
Methotrexate, Celebrex, Plaquenil
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 1,524
Gold_AS_Kicker
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Erica
Thank you for sharing with us and letting us know so much more about your beautiful daughter through your deeply moving words and breathtaking photographs.
It is warming to hear how her friends are making such a tribute and wanting to prevent this sort of tragedy happening to others.
I can't tell you how sorry I am, and how much my heart goes out to you. I hope your many friends and family are able to shelter you and shoulder some of your terrible pain.
So much love to you heart hugss


KickAS and help others do the same!
Joined: Mar 2008
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Dow Offline
Imperial_AS_Kicker
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Imperial_AS_Kicker
Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 3,233
truly beautiful, Erica

your words to remember and honor her, Kaylan's pictures, and what you are doing to help other people who face struggles like this


Dow
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