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T'was christmas day in the Harem,
the eunuchs strode the halls.
The sultan shouted
What do you want for Christmas lads
and the eunuchs shouted.................................
Well yes if seriously people aren't ticked off with me writing all sorts of rubbish all over the place then I will.
Think I was in hospital last time I was here, oh no
being laghed out of the hospital was more accurate, the knee aspiration, now that was an interesting affair, Was hospitalised for a good time on what was happily known then as "Bed Rest", Of course once they said, go home Alan, I got out of bed and immediately fell on the floor and was stooped, seriously stooped. This was the first time that I was aware that my posture had changed. It was a sobering moment. The pain was there, ever present, the fusion was doing its work, now I was bending forward.
No job to speak of and a drunkard. Something had to change.
The Foreign Legion seemed a good idea at the time, but, it seems they dont like stooped drunks in the ranks.
cleaning windows was out because I couldn't reach, lost the best job ever, disillusioned with playing because music helped me become a lush, the disease attacked on all sides. No money. A prospect of carrying on as a musician which held the promise of more booze, Giving up the band which left me bereft of income and adulation which was all that I had, although the keyboard players were always (if I may make a musical association) fourth fiddle to the drummer, wow he got the best, then the guitarist singer and trumpeter. I came up the rear but nevertheless was always willing.
I wasn't going to mention the cruder parts, the abject bits but. I had long chat with my very special KA friend (Guesses on a postcard please) last evening and she said write it. She already knows my awful history and still talks to me!!
I lost my home because I didn't keep up the payments, and as such was homeless apart from friends floors sometimes, the back of a van believe it or not was my bed for some weeks, parked on motorway service stations. Yes it is true, I was usually moved on by the police, I was becoming a vagrant, a hobo.
I gained a nickname in the band 'The Maestro' which indeed used to be my KA login, i didn't get the name because of any musical connatation, it was because of my trick, the trick of wooing a woman every night in order that I might get a bed for the night. I managed it now and then and was thankful of a soft bed. Back of a van does AS no good.
So as I said, the brain had begun to work, I got a job, in a music shop, I got a flat (apatment( using my girlfriends name (yes I had found a regular, (I am married to her now) Mrs Grim! Suddenly I was warm again, earning a little and the drinking was slowing down, But then I realised I wasn't stooped, I was a human walking stick. My girlfriend didn't seem to mind, she said she liked me as I was, heaven sent words, I change job, got a job for a hotel (The Royal Moat House Internantional Hotel -as was Nottingham)
Earned more money here, became a bit of a manager and ran the technicl services team. One day we were working aat the top of a tower scaffold maybe 30 feet up, because by now I was so bent I couldnt reach the work above my head, so had to sit on the railings at the side of the tower which gave me an extre 2 feet height, got me closer to the work,Idiot that I was and am, I slipped backwards in despearation and blinding panic i shot a hand out hoping to get hold of something, thakkfully I got hold od a railing and hung on, you see there is one huge benefit of having AS and useless back muscles, (bet Kevin and others will agree) your arms become much more powerful to compensate, because of this I was able to hang on until my friend Jeff who was up there with me, managed to drag me back up.........