Round Like A Shot
News article from Essex, UK:
Going to bed the other night, I noticed people in my shed stealing things.
I phoned the police but was told no one was in the area to help. They said they would send someone over as soon as possible.
I hung up. A minute later I rang again. "Hello," I said, "You don't have to hurry now because I've shot them."
Within minutes there were half a dozen police cars in the area plus helicopters and an armed response unit. They caught the burglers red-handed.
One of the officers said, "I thought you said you'd shot them."
To which I replied, "I thought you said no one was available."