To you Pea,

"When the going gets tough, the tough get going..." and the weaklings want out, I'd say...

I think we live in an age of disposable everything and so that must apparently include marriages... <sigh>

Just remember the best piece of wisdom that my (somewhat less-than-supportive!) husband (in perfect health) has thrown at me:

"Chronic pain is NO EXCUSE to be in a bad mood." Yeah - he'd know for sure! Perhaps your husband is an expert like mine too???

Oh I'm so sorry for what you are going through. I think it is wise of you to go and surround yourself with people who honestly care and can be supportive. You have already been through so much, you deserve understanding and kindness. Not this.

I think illness can be terrifying to spouses (as it can be to us!), but the coldness, lack of empathy, the grave insults and egocentric belief that he knows better than your Doctors,.. that is too much.

Hang in there Pea, being away will give you time to think things through with some objectivity that distance provides. Be very good to You!

(((Hugs)))
mig

Pea, if you were in love and both made that much of a commitment. I encourage you to take care of yourself first, but if he is in a midlife change; please do not compromise your position with him.
unless you fear for safety - think about staying... It might take a year, but sometimes these guys come to their senses. I am not saying take what ever crap he gives you, I am saying, he may be worth forgiving.
I know it is not fair, but until you just can't manage, let him live with his own selfishness by being there.
Just a thought.

A forgiven husband often makes for a wonderful caregiver... if......

Hugs to you, Pea. Getting away for a few days may be good. Is hubby's sailboat a live-aboard? Maybe he could go there to live for a bit and gain a conscience? Glad he isn't talking divorce, but if the stalemate drags on, you may want to consider getting an attorney just to protect yourself. Like Lon says, he may come to his senses....

In any case....travel safely and know that we are behind you.

Pea,
rumble asked about the boat???

It is lonely thinking about such things...

but do what helps you and then you can see where he is at.

We care!!

Pea,

I just wanted to say I think it is a fantastic idea to get away AND if you can pick a password something really weird like popcorn (obviously) not that..lol this site should be a haven for YOU and you need to be able to come here for support without feeling like he could be imposing on you in here.

Please keep us updated!

Hugs!

Pea, I know what your going through, you likely read what I posted in the women section.

You need to get away - the stress your under from your husband and MIL, only adds to worsening of your health issues.

I thought I couldn't be on my own - I don't have family here to help me - but I reached out to my friends here - and other support groups in my community. At least the emotional, mental (onto me) and physical abuse (onto my medical alert service dog) has stopped.

Makaylah, I am doing alright on our own, and I believe you would do well on your own, as well.

Sending many hugs, love and lots of kisses (from Makaylah)
Gerri & Makaylah

So sorry to hear this Pea, nobody has the right to tell you how bad your pain is. Personally I have had my (ex) best friend tell me that my issues are psychosematic as in its all in my mind. At least I have a powerfull mind I guess. Just know there are people here think about you and hoping things get better.

No he couldn't live on the boat. It is way to small and unheated. He has back stepped so much and doesn't want me to leave. Say's he is sorry that he started all of this and seen how much it has tore our families apart. Going to my mother's it seem's now might not be the option that I thought it would be either. For now until I can get through some of this depression, I a going to live in my bedroom because I get extremely stressed thinking about leaving and extremely stressed about staying. I can't make any good decisions like this.

If you can't make the decision, it's best to NOT make one and just take life as it comes for a bit. Glad that your hubby saw the error of his ways. Do you have a hobby you can immerse yourself in for a time to clear your mind?