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#503798 - 06/01/14 01:29 AM Re: What is wrong with me? [Re: Lon]
Tnate Offline
Fifth_Degree_AS_Kicker

Registered: 10/06/08
Posts: 358
Loc: South Florida
I get so angry at times then when I start feeling better I get an ease all over my body(kind of exactly like a drug) and I lose my anger... It is the only thing I care about now for the rest of my life cause i know my ability to feel that way is slipping away fast.

It's the battle of our lives(and it will be nice when most not just some doctors will realize this) and I'll be ready for it to end when I die, if I can ever get there.

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#503806 - 06/01/14 07:43 AM Re: What is wrong with me? [Re: Tnate]
Lon Offline
Very_Addicted_to_AS_Kickin

Registered: 09/11/01
Posts: 8326
Loc: Gillette, Wyoming
Tnate-
For me- Peace came through Faith & with the idea that I will never "get there" but that is ok. Just like my covenant with God is based on doing willingly what I can and then letting go with the things that are beyond reach.
I do my best, which some days seem very limited, and then I let God do the rest.
I also think that there can be moments of surge, or of flooding within our souls that allows us to carry on. Anger can be our friend, but it must be tamed and directed.
There may be years ahead, where you are much better, health wise than you are now.
Death has a purpose, but let's not rush the event.
How can I help?

Your friend
Lon

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#503821 - 06/01/14 07:57 PM Re: What is wrong with me? [Re: Lon]
Tnate Offline
Fifth_Degree_AS_Kicker

Registered: 10/06/08
Posts: 358
Loc: South Florida
Wish there was. I appreciate the truly good people in this world, though(there's nothing I hate more than the spiteful, the fake, cheaters, liars, thieves, and those that prey on the weak). And I know you're one of the good one's, Lon.

The thing that gets me is that I have done everything the right way for the last 4 years and have been nothing but penalized for it from EVERYONE but my new doctor. I can't even express the courage I think he has.

It's really too bad the lapse of education and freedom of patients in the medical community. Sure there has to be oversight but this [*bleep*] is getting a little carried away its 2014. They've figured out most of everything by now and the wrong people are suffering!

God almighty if i didn't have the things I did at my disposal you could put a fork in me because I'd be done and still may be even with everything I do.

And I really hate to cynical but I gave up on god a long time ago. frown I do believe in science though lol and I'm not sure how those 2 are related but would like to find out one day.

Ah hell I'm sorry this thing has ruined me.

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#503842 - 06/02/14 09:22 AM Re: What is wrong with me? [Re: Tnate]
Lon Offline
Very_Addicted_to_AS_Kickin

Registered: 09/11/01
Posts: 8326
Loc: Gillette, Wyoming
Tnate-
My words seem inadequate when it comes to the feelings I have about the rights and wrongs in this life. But I do have an increasing belief that those of us with a sense of right and wrong, with a love for God and Country should expect to be bombarded with the tough problems of this life. It behooves us to take hold of the very tough things in life and lead those in darkness to the light. We should reach out a hand to those who take short cuts to wealth and fame.
Of course you believe in science. Many of the best scientists write publications in regard to "faith" that never make it into mainstream media. There are really good books and videos available from the public library concerning faith and science. You may have given up on god, but he is a long way from giving up on you!

I think, that you might just be getting started in becoming who you are intended to be.

your friend,
Lon


Edited by Lon (06/02/14 09:23 AM)
Edit Reason: spelling
_________________________
1 Kings 20:1-22
ne triumphum canas ante victoriam.




Lon

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#503859 - 06/02/14 10:54 PM Re: What is wrong with me? [Re: Lon]
Tnate Offline
Fifth_Degree_AS_Kicker

Registered: 10/06/08
Posts: 358
Loc: South Florida
Only time will tell I guess. You would of loved my anthropology teacher who taught evolution and what he thought about religion (they teach you creationism with evolution because of what went down between the 2 then and since then) like the dover case.

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#503971 - 06/05/14 05:20 PM Re: What is wrong with me? [Re: Tnate]
Lon Offline
Very_Addicted_to_AS_Kickin

Registered: 09/11/01
Posts: 8326
Loc: Gillette, Wyoming
Tnate-
Both side have had its extreme behaviors with violence and consequences. But I do believe I would rather be wrong about a kind and loving creator not being there than about the belief that man is a living breathing spiritual being that answers to a just God.
If there is no god, who has given us life, I have lots nothing and gained a wonderful life. If there is a time of accountability of my stewardship, I ask for grace. If there is no god. then where does goodness come from? If there be no god. then maybe I can grab all the gusto I want, at everyone else's expense?
I choose the life of faith and grace, because it says we should care about each other, as much as we care about ourselves.
What doing these days?
_________________________
1 Kings 20:1-22
ne triumphum canas ante victoriam.




Lon

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#504019 - 06/07/14 12:17 PM Re: What is wrong with me? [Re: Lon]
Possi Offline
Addicted_to_AS_Kickin

Registered: 11/13/02
Posts: 6912
Loc: Oklahoma where the wind comes...
Thank you Lon. I agree completely. This isn't what I would have chosen if I could have chosen but this is the plan for me and I am certainly ok with that. We see where God works in our life all the time. We are so thankful that we know Him.

Hope you are all doing ok. Our great grand is 11 months old and he is so precious that we babble right back at him. What a blessing that we get to enjoy a great grandbaby.

Have a good weekend.
_________________________


Possi
*********************************************************

RUN WHEN YOU CAN,
WALK IF YOU HAVE TO,
CRAWL IF YOU MUST,
JUST NEVER EVER GIVE UP!



"A FRIEND HEARS THE SONG IN YOUR HEART AND SINGS IT TO YOU WHEN YOU CAN'T REMEMBER THE WORDS."

"A FRIEND LOOKS THROUGH YOUR BROKEN FENCE TO ADMIRE YOUR FLOWERS."


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#507608 - 11/10/14 12:17 PM Re: What is wrong with me? [Re: snowshoe]
Lon Offline
Very_Addicted_to_AS_Kickin

Registered: 09/11/01
Posts: 8326
Loc: Gillette, Wyoming
Snow- ep we are getting our first winder storm. Blowing wind about 35, and 20*. I will take the 4-wheeler for a short run to the store.
I went hunt, several weeks ago. I had save a part prescription for prednisone. It worked very well. I was hunting, (close your eyes), in just my boots and jeans and orange hat. It was hot. I was climbing and walking at 11,000 foot but the elk were further back in the Tetons. But what a hoot, coyotes howling, bears at night, saw a huge moose. the night sky was fabulous!
I DID NOT FALL THIS YEAR!!!
But no back in Gillette, my vision is shadowed, my knees are really throbbing and I have a very tender goose egg on the inside of my right shin!
Most people with MS, Fibro, IBS and AS and congestive heart and heart valve disease can not do what I am able to do. So very thankful!
I am teaching an adult class on Salvational Covenant!
Much of my pain does not show up in X=rays. So I understand what man of you are going through. Thanks for reading. I did not dress up as anything, and it scared most people enough.

I love this place!
Lon

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#507621 - 11/11/14 10:20 AM Re: What is wrong with me? [Re: Lon]
snowshoe Offline
Platinum_AS_Kicker

Registered: 09/10/01
Posts: 1658
Loc: Lost
We must be on the same western wavelength as I was planning to ask you for a humorous story today as I recuperate. So your funny post counts! It's amazing how the great outdoors can overwhelm our senses and take away the pain though we may pay for it later. And wildlife is a great picker upper especially if you become the prey (then pray)! "I believe it's best we carry on" and use the occasional medical miracle to get outside and live life! Those great memories provide sustenance. I'm completely relaxed during a long mri remembering in vivid detail floating down a river, a scuba dive, hike, skiing, etc. If not for the machine racket I could fall asleep in there. So carry on and please post more funny stories. Enjoy the too early arctic blast.
_________________________

This bunny Kicks AS !

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#507623 - 11/11/14 02:48 PM Re: What is wrong with me? [Re: snowshoe]
Lon Offline
Very_Addicted_to_AS_Kickin

Registered: 09/11/01
Posts: 8326
Loc: Gillette, Wyoming
snow- nice to see you!
I do take trips and float rivers in my mind. I can see the moose tu8rning in the evening light as it crashes away from us. The very large deer that let us watch for five minutes and then kept turning sideways as it sauntered over the ridge. Maybe the biggest buck I have ever seen!
and a bit one the scary side, hearing the newest member of the camp pull his pistol out of its leather holster as he thinks it is a bear coming 9 it was only lyle..... hearing the cock of a 44 mag on the other side of the tent is kind of exhilarating.
I am burning wood this winter. So I carry wood twice a day, stook the stove every three hours and the smell of fire is kind of fun again.
After you are recuperated, just ski on over here. Will you go back to work soon?
I always have to medicate so much before a MRI - pain pills or hate to say it alcohol. The idea of laying flat on a hard surface nearly makes me cry thinking about it. You are tougher than I am.
We had a bit of sun today. It is really pretty with all the ice and snow.

Your bud
Lon

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