Alan - this kind of real life tragic story told with humour does very well - look at "Running with Scissors" and "Angela's Ashes" which I've already mentioned.

Just keep writing it here for us for now and see what happens. You've found a "voice" (or maybe you always had it) but it works very well.

5.


So, I woke up in hospital with a pretty nursing sister prodding me.

"What is the last thing you remember?"

She repeated it until i was sort of compus mentis.

"Hapiness" I found myself saying..........

"Ohh God" she said, "One of them"

I wasn't sure what one of them was, but felt sure that I wasn't one, and even if I was one then she had no right to accuse me of being one which I wasnt and would have refused to be if I knew what one was or what they did, well I felt a right one!. She had turned from a happy bunny into an irritated efficient,

'we dont want your sort in here'

type of person. I do remember though that her legs were long and sinuous. I was embarrassed too, being in A and E in leiderhosen! Yes that's right, Leiderhosen. It may seem funny, but it wasn't. Well, at least not for the wearer. I have to admit though, that there seemed to be much mirth in the general area of the trolley upon which I was recumbent.

They tested me for hours and found nothing, not even the AS. Declared me fit and well and said I could go home. So, picture the scene; there I am, in the middle of a huge hospital campus, wearing leiderhosen and a white shirt with embroidered front, long socks and red baseball boots. No money, no idea what time it was but knew that I lived miles from where I was. There were many folks milling about and all it seemed,found me to be an object of interest and amusement....There were no mobile (cell) phones then so I asked a nurse if I could use the phone, explaining that I had no money. Yes she said and I managed to raise my brother, another musician, who came and fetched me.

This was the first indication perhaps that my time was here, that things had to change, that drinking, working all day and night, sleeping on friends floors and so on was not doing me any good. The brain started to work and to challenge the body, to say lets live a life.

The next day my right knee grew to the size of Michelle's boat. so 24 hours later, there I am again, in the hospital having my knee aspirated. 150 gallons of synovium drained off though a needle as big as cleopatra's which was roughly inserted beneath the kneecap.

Then they admitted me. Oh why said I , it is only a knee. You are ill said they. So, there I was, hospitalised. not working, no money, alone now. But, for the first time in years, sober..............the brain began to work.


Cripes you must all be bored by now......

would have loved to see the leiderhosen
sorry O dear I cant stop laughing.
I know its not funny for you no offence ment.
Kevin

If you behave I will get mig to post the pic of me in them, but no no no laughing or else........god I look such a fool

Hi Kevin...lol

Really Alan, do you want me to? Cos I will if you want. Happen to have one open right now on my desktop, as I was already contemplating the idea of posting it up...!

You suit leiderhosen..! lol

Yes please go on im still laughing

Kevin, you should feel loads of pride in your fellow countrymen I think... ALL of the English people I've ever met have been just lovely! I think we all run into a few folks (frightened of what they don't understand - I agree) who aren't so nice and we're most apt to find them to near to home, since that's just where we are the most... but they're everywhere I'm afraid.

A blip in comparison, I can relate to!

Ah, well, as I am waiting for Alan to answer... I've been busy re-sizing to upload as we type!

oh well i just did reply, but it isnt here, how odd!!!


yes ok but make it a quiz dont tell which i am

Hi Mig
Yes there not all bad i agree. but have you been to England The undesirables were i live far out way the nice people.Perhaps its justice for me being a 1%er for years.